Title: Underneath it All (1/?) Author: Az (ElladanadoresElrohir@gmx.net) Parings: Legolas/? Warnings: MPREG, angst (maybe more warnings will follow in the near future) Summary: This is based on a plotbunny by Cheysuli, about that Legolas is pregnant, but don't know who the father is Disclaimer; Don't own them, don't sue me Authors note; another MPREG :/ I think this revenge of the male species is getting a habbit for me. I would like to thank Bersa for the encuragment. And Esteliel for being such a inspation. And offcourse to Milly, for just being there :P – further more; one million thanks to Cheysuli for actually bothering with betaing this for me *hugs* I want feedback – as always *smiles* I made a photomanip for this fic, actually more than one *lol* please visit my homepage to see them, or read other stuff i made. http://www.nad-no-ennas.net/ohno.htm -Az ************************ Underneath it all chapter 1 - The family ghost "What?" I shook my head, as if the message didn't go in clearly. "No, no, no," I whispered. But the healer just sat down next to me on the cot. "I am afraid so, my prince" I felt myself pale and wrapped my arms around myself. "but that is – just not possible. Not, possible." I whispered in a broken voice. The healer tried to lay a comforting arm around me, but I flinched from his touch. My world had shattered; how could this be? I am a male, males don't get pregnant, that is one of the marvellous things about been born male. But yet, it had happened. I vaguely heard the healer ask me if I was ok, but I just shook my head, and stood up from the cot. He called for me once more, and I turned around. Tell anyone and you're dead," I hissed and ran out of the healers talan. I needed air, needed space to think. Though no coherent thought would come to me. What should I do? How could this happen? This was just too surreal for me to understand. Males didn't get pregnant. /Freak/ I sighed and sat down on a large log in my father's garden. And then the horrible truth struck me, sending chills down my spine. `Who is its sire?' I thought. I came to no conclusion; this summer had been a fun one indeed. I sighed, no matter how much I tried to count, and rule some out, there was at least four that could have sired this... this... abnormality. I didn't even have someone to share my fall from grace, no one to call upon, and none to turn to. I had to do this alone. /Alone/ I heard my own voice let out a strangled cry. And I stood up again, leaving the gardens, for even these magnificent surroundings was poisoned for me. I made my way back to the healers talan, and knocked gently on the doorframe. He turned around with a smile, but when he saw that it was I, he frowned. "Forgive me my harsh words healer, you just took me by surprise," I said and looked at the cot. The healer smiled and took my arm to guide me towards the primitive bed. "Would you please tell me what I should expect?" I whispered, and looked up at the healer. The Healer's gentle features darkened. "I do not know, I have never seen a male pregnancy before," he said softly. The despair rolled over me like a giant wave, and I felt my tears fall on my hands in my lap. "Then where does that leave me" I sobbed, and this time allowing the comforting arm around my shoulders. "I could send word to Elrond, for the Lord of Imladris is sure to know something about this," the healer offered. My eyes widened in fear "No," I whispered. "No, he would surely tell my father The healer squeezed my shoulder. "But this is the only option I have," he said. "I care not!" I hissed "Thranduil will not look kindly upon his only son, his hope, and his shooting star falls pregnant, like a common maid." I shook my head and looked at the healer. I must have appeared lost and frightened, for the healer got this understanding yet saddened look to him. "How could this have happened?" I asked with a small voice. The healer smiled, amused. "Like it always did my prince." I sighed and closed my eyes. "That is not what I meant, I am not a child" I turned my head to look directly at the meek healer. "Males do not get pregnant." I whispered. "And yet, I am." Now it was the healer's turn to shake his head. "I do not know – again I would need Lord Elrond's knowledge, and books." Apparently I would get no answers here. The answers I had hoped and craved so desperately for. I gave the healer a sad smile and stood up. "I trust you will keep quiet about this." The healer bit his lip, and I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Please." Finally he gave me a reluctant nod. "Hannad," I whispered and left the healer's talan just as silently as I had entered. I headed for my own chambers; I needed to think, this message had turned my whole world upside down. I needed answers where I had none, needed a confidant where there was no one to be found.. I can't recall ever feeling this alone. Ever. /Alone/ All my life I had been around other elves, acting carefree and merry, for I had no reason not to. I was the king's only son so it mattered not how I acted; they adored me anyway, for the simple reason that I was the prince. But things were about to change, I could feel it in my bones. And as I slumped down on my bed, I made a promise to myself – this would be my secret, until it could be kept no longer. I was afraid of my father's reaction; what would he do once he found out? Would he ban me from Mirkwood or something worse? I let my hand rest on my abdomen. It was a strange thought – that a life dwelled inside. My womb should be cold, but yet it was not. Why? No answer came to my mind, and no reassurance. I poked my abdomen hard." Are you in there?" I whispered, instantly feeling stupid. What was I doing? Talking to this *thing* inside me. I shook my head at my own folly. I laid there in my bed and watched the moon as it rose and shone its white light. When I had begun to let my mind wonder, I did not know. But I found myself trying to fervently recall every lover I had had recently. Why was I thinking of this? I should rather be thinking up a way of to get rid of this *thing* instead. ***************************' I had successfully ignored my condition for moons. But this morn, I noticed my abdomen had swollen. I paled as the gruesome reality hit me; this was going to happen, this was real and not some stupid childish nightmare. I franticly searched the room and found my leather vest; that could be tightened and then hopefully no one would notice. As I tightened the leather as tight as I could, a wave of nausea struck me. I knew somehow this was my body telling me it was wrong, and that I should loosen the pressure. But I refused to listen. I intended to carry on my duties as I always had, until I was not able to do so anymore. And I was sure I could hide this for a long, long time. When I left my chambers, I faced the world with a strange smile on my face. I went to sit beside my father at the dining table.He looked at me strangely and I felt a pang of guilt and shame; could he see? Did he know? I nearly laughed at myself, of course he did not; how could he? The only one besides me that knew was the healer and he would not betray my trust; I hoped. "Why are you wearing such warm clothes on a summer day, my son?" Thranduil asked smiling. What was I to answer? I had no reason whatsoever to wear these garments. But today luck was on my side and my father was distracted before I could answer by one of his advisors that asking him to come, as a most urgent matter had arisen. I think I let out a relieved sigh before I returned my attention to my breakfast. Later that day, I was attending a archery competition and was just about to shoot an arrow when someone came and grabbed my arm. I twirled around to tell off this intruder, but mellowed as I saw it was the royal healer. "You startled me, healer, I said. The healer gave me a strict look and said, "Follow me, my prince." I just nodded and handed my bow and quiver to the nearest elf before I followed the healer. We hurried to the talan and once we were in, the healer closed the door and rested up against it, looking accusingly at me. "Lay down, Legolas," he said and gestured towards the cot. I laid down obediently and looked out the window at the sky, mostly to avoid the glare from the Healer. He unlaced my leather vest and slowly removed the clothing until he could rest his warm palms on my slightly swollen abdomen. I turned my head and watched him, his brows furrowed and he looked concentrated. "Is t-there something wrong?" I whispered, and found myself wondering if the baby was alright. What a stupid thought!, how could I even think so? I chided myself for even thinking about this *thing* as a being. The healer sat down on the cot's edge but did not remove his left hand from my skin. "Legolas, my prince," he said and smiled sadly. "What will you do? When will you confide in the king?" I opened my eyes wide and wanted to tell him to mind his own business, but the words stuck in my throat and all I managed was a weak croak. "You will only continue to grow; you cannot keep hiding it this way, it is not good for either you or the baby," he said softly and managed a genuine smile. "I... ehm... I..." I heard my own voice mutter. The healer was right, I could not hide my condition from ada much longer. He was already suspicious. "You *must* tell him soon," the healer said and this insisting tone had crept into his voice. "This garment," he said, grabbing a hold of the leather vest. "Will only save you for so long and it is really not a good idea to constrict yourself and the baby like that." He suddenly looked guilty and I slowly sat up on the cot, and laying a hand on his shoulder. "What is it healer?" I said and tried to catch his gaze with my own. "If you keep this up, my prince, I will eventually have to tell King Thranduil," he whispered and his shoulders slumped. "I am a healer, Legolas, and if you endanger your health, ignoring my word, I will have to tell your father; it is my duty – I cannot let you fall ill under my care. Thranduil's wrath would be fierce if something like that happened... please understand me, my prince." I shook my head and removed my hand from the healer's shoulder. "You would betray my trust?" I whispered. I suddenly felt lost, betrayed, very frightened and young. "You realize he will punish us both, do you not?" I asked with more malice than intended; but since he was like this, I would take him with me in my fall. "Perhaps King Thranduil will be merciful," he said and bit his lip. I laughed dully and shook my head again. "Oh yes and horses fly," I said sarcastically. "If I am to tell my father, then you're going with me." The healer paled. "No, prince Legolas, you cannot ask this of me." "Yes I can, and I am," I said coolly." If you do not go with me, I will inform my father that you are its sire." The healer looked like he would faint. "You w-wouldn't," he stuttered. "Oh, yes I would; and then we could all see just how merciful King Thranduil is," I hissed. "I will go with you, my prince. You have but to ask," the healer said and hung his head. "Fine, next full moon – we will do so after the late meal," I said and began to close my garments once more. The healer nodded slowly and stood up from the cot. I felt somewhat evil but I would not face the anger of my father alone. I left the healer and headed for the royal talan. I would have to lie for my father for yet a moon. I could do this. I would not want to face the consequences for my own thoughtlessness alone. It was not REAL thoughtlessness since I had no idea, nor an explanation on how this could happen in the first place. But whatever happened – I had just bought myself time. And the Valar knew I needed it; I needed to think about what I wanted to tell my father. And just enough time to soften him some by doing favours for him and lurking around in his shadows some. Only to jump out miraculously when he needed me, carefull not to get him angered. This was the best plan I could come up with, it *had* to work. CHAPTER 2 ********************************************************’’ I had been watching the moon. I used to find it alluring and beautiful, but now it felt like a ticking clock. It would not be long until the moon was full once more, and I had to tell my father. In return the healer had not mentioned the use of my leather vest. Which I had to tighten more and more, as my belly had grown with alarming haste. The healer said that nothing looked as if it was not normal, as normal as a male pregnancy could be, that is. The more my belly grew, the harder it was for me to ignore this fact. I was going to give birth to a child. My mind tried desperately to tell me this was ridiculous, but as I has to rip my leggings in the waist, to even get them on. This just got more and more impossible to ignore. I had spent many an evening and night at my balcony, watching the moon rise. Half asleep, half awake. To tired to stay awake, but too scared to sleep. Nightmares had followed me since that damned day the healer had sealed my doom. Maybe that was why I had so much anger directed at him. Because he was the one to say it loud, he treated this thing inside me as a normal child. And all this made me feel like a female, knowing I was not – then what am I? I leaned back against the wall and sighed. My mind drifted and suddenly remembered the faint scent of flowers, with this scent, came the memory of silvery softness. /Haldir/ I smiled to myself, as I remembered those days I spend in the golden woods. I had arrived with a message to the lord Celeborn, only to find Haldir and his brothers. It did not take me long until I found out that Haldir was used to getting what he wanted. When he wanted it. -*flashback*- I had carried out my duties, delivered the letter to Lord Celeborn, and as I walked over to the stables to collect my horse, to begin my journey home. I saw a elf standing in the doorframe to the stabled, leaning casually up against the left side. “Leaving already?” he said. I had smiled and walked over to him “Haldir, it has been long” the silver-haired elf nodded “Yes, indeed prince Legolas, too long” I laughed and padded the Galadrim’s shoulder, while moving past him, but just in that second he slammed his hand against the other side of the doorframe cutting off my way “You would not leave without a decent meal – would you?” he smirked. I dropped my head and shook it, but decided to play along, and I looked up at him smiling “Why?, are you cooking?” the galadrim smiled a crooked smile “would I invite you, if I were not?” “Nay, that would be rude” I answered and leaned against the side of the door where Haldir had had his hand before. “When do we dine then?” Haldir let out a loud laugh “we are going hunting first, I do not think the rabbit will lay upon my plate of its own free will, no matter how persuasive I am” “Indeed” I chuckled “But I am afraid I would not bee of too much use on a rabbit hunt” “Strange, I seem to hear you are one of the best archers in all of middle earth” he said an pointed at the bow I had over my shoulder. I gave up, and just shrugged, and let Haldir lead me away from the stables and into the forest. We had walked for some time, when Haldir suddenly stopped me with a gesture. And pointed at the grass just under a bush. And there was a little brown rabbit. He then looked at me and nodded towards my bow- apparently he wanted me to shoot the little animal. I quickly drew a arrow, and send it flying right into the rabbit. And then looked at Haldir again, he smiled a wide smile and padded my back, before retrieving our dinner. “What now?” I said and raised a brow “Now we need to collect herbs and make a fire” Haldir said and ripped out the arrow of the rabbit, before wiping it off in the grass and handing it to me again. “Did you plan on eating out here?” I said while placing the arrow back amongst the others. “Of course” he said, but then looked up at me swinging the dead rabbit in front of me, so the blood dripped in the grass right next to my boots “but perhaps such like yourself, of royal blood, are perhaps not used to dining without rich tables and fine wines” he said in a taunting voice “I will make the fire” I just said and turned around and walked into the woods, trying to hide my fury. That.. That arrogant guardian! I quickly gathered some firewood, and walked back to the clearing where we had shot the rabbit, and begun to build a fire. Once I had the fire going Haldir had still not returned. So I sat down and then had a look down of myself, I was filthy and dusty, from the long ride, and then spending my day in the forest. I remembered that we had walked past a little forest lake right next to where I had made this fire. “What are you thinking of prince?” I heard Haldir’s voice say behind my back. I spun around and looked up, Haldir stood there with three rabbits and a handful of herbs. “Three?” I asked “I will not have it be told, that I do not care for the guests of the golden wood properly” he said and squatted down “now, will you tell me where your mind was before?” I smiled. Haldir was a beautiful elf, I had always thought so, but now in the light of the flames, he looked even more brilliant than by daylight. “The little lake” I said, and hated myself for feeling a blush creep up in my face “What a fantastic idea” he chuckled “go freshen yourself, while I finish up these rabbits” “fine” I said and quickly stood up, and almost fled out of the campsite. I was right about the little lake though, it was just where I had remembered it to be. At least he could not taunt me about that, I thought to myself. I got rid of my clothes and walked out in the lake; this was balm for the soul. The water was cool, and the last rays of sun between the mallon trees was a magnificent sight, I unbraided my hair and let myself float in the water, forgetting time and place. Until I heard Haldir’s voice “I finished the dinner, and was wondering where you were, I worried you got lost in the woods” “I did not” I snapped and heard my own voice as if were I an offended little elfling. “No you were not” Haldir said and raised a brow before he began to remove his boots “What are you doing?” I said “The same as you, my prince” he said and shrugged off his tunic “Oh” I said with in a little voice and tried to get back to just floating, looking at the star filled sky above me, but for some reason my mind could not stop from wondering where Haldir was, and when I heard him come into the water, I tensed, trying to listen after every little splash he made, when he suddenly emerged from the water, right next to my shoulder I could have screamed. “It is a beautiful night, don’t you think so, prince Legolas?” he said and looked at me, with a twinkle in his eyes that I knew all to well. But then again, I had known this could happen ever since I followed him into these woods, and had I not wanted him to come into the water with me?, did I not want to be here? Yes I did, I wanted him to touch me, and taste me. I turned my head and looked back at Haldir “yes it is beautiful, just as everything else in Lothlorien” The Galadrim smiled and leaned over to kiss me, but I quickly let myself sink into the water and with swift stokes swam some paces away, before standing up “if you can catch me, you can have me” I laughed and swam further out in the lake. Where Haldir had come from, or why I had not heard him, I will never know, but suddenly I felt strong arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me into the water. When we emerged once more, he had a firm grip on my arms “I yield, I yield” I laughed and was swirled around to face Haldir. “good” he said in a husky voice and this time claimed my lips in a bruising kiss, and only retreated when I was panting for air, he then turned me around once more, holding my back tightly against his own chest. His one hand trailed down between my legs, and I felt his own erection twitch against my buttock, as he found me to be hard too. I rested my head against his shoulder and surrendered to the sensation of Haldir. “do your best galadrim” I whispered, knowing it would irritate him, but I just could not let this arrogant little elf, beat me at my own game. And the result did not wait long. He slammed himself inside me, not even taking the time to prepare me or coax me into submission, for he knew he had it already. I bit my lip to stifle that scream that would have spilled from my lips, I would never give him the satisfaction of knowing he hurt me. It felt like fire spreading through my abdomen, and I clenched my fists, still not willing to let him know. But he must have seen it, for he bit my shoulder gently and began to stoke my member with slow but hard stokes. At first I thought he must have been the worst lover I had ever encountered, if this was his game, but when he gently turned my hear to claim my lips, on the same time as he stoke me, and changed his position behind me a little, which meant that he hit the little spot inside me with every stoke, he had me moaning softly quickly, and when a deep groan came from him, I had to close my eyes, and just feeling Haldir all around me, all over me, he was everywhere. To my frustration he stopped as I felt the first soft waves of my upcoming orgasm. To just let his hands run over me, letting his fingers travel into my mouth, to then use the wet fingers to manipulate my nipples. I arched my back to just feel more “P-Please, don’t s-stop” I heard my own voice shake, and the Galadrim chuckled, before pinching my nipple. But then continued as he had done before, this time he did not stop as he felt me shudder as the first indication of a climax. And then my legs buckled and Haldir’s arm was the only thing keeping me up. My world felt as flowing lava, and the feeling of Haldir everywhere touching me, tipped the scale and I soon climaxed, spending myself in the water. Not even feeling Haldir emptying himself inside me, I totally forgot where I was. But slowly returned to the world around me as I felt Haldir gently turning me around and kissing my brow. Out of pure reflex I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he carried me to the shore. I was still panting when he placed me down next to my clothing. We walked back to the camp and lay down next to the fire and dried off, before eating the rabbits. Spending the night out in the golden forest, we reacquainted ourselves several times that night, and Haldir indeed changed my mind about him being a bad lover. And we ventured back to Caras Galadon in a good mood, jesting and laughing. And when we reached the stables we met Haldir’s brothers snickering while handing me some rations for my journey home, and fetching my horse. Haldir walked with me out to the large gates, and there he made me promise I would never return to Lothlorien without seeking out his talan. And I promised to cook for him next. With that I left the fair woods, and travelled home. -*end of flashback*- It seemed so far away, now when I sat on my balcony, with a swollen belly and dark rings under my eyes, this one most delightful night in Lothlorien, Haldir was one of the four. But I prayed the Valar I would not have to ruin our friendship with a message like this, of course there had been Lord Elronds chief advisor too. But that was a different situation. We had never been friends, and only lovers for one night. /one night is enough/ I sighed and rested my hand on my belly. Perhaps it would be best to just run, not to tell my father or any other living soul, but then who would deliver the child? I would need a skilled healer for that. I would have to tell my father. What ‘could’ I tell him? I knew nothing myself, I didn’t even know who was the father of this ‘thing’. And I was not to tell him that I had my theories of who it could be, he would be more angered with knowing that, than just believing that I was a hore. I wished I had someone I could draw some courage upon. Tomorrow eve I would have to tell my father, or to break my vow to the healer, and I was sure that it would be better that ada would hear it from my lips, than from the healer. The sun was rising as I stood up. This day was going to be terrible, and over too fast, much too fast. I went into the bathroom to freshen up, I avoided the mirror, as it would only remind me of my sorry state. Upon looking at the water in the bowl, the answer stuck me /Galadriel/ She would take me in, help me and heal me. She would never shun me, I hoped. And I could surely use a friend such as Haldir. Even should events be so, that he did not sire the child. He would hopefully stand by me. The soft knock on the door indicated that it was time for me to attend the morning meal. And as I tightened the leather west as much as I could, I felt like I could cry. Why did this happen to me, me of all living beings on the face of middle earth. When I found out whose fault it was, I would rip their eyes out, and throw this damned thing inside me in their lap. I shook myself out of my desperation some, and made a effort for a straight face before I walked out the door, facing yet another day. CHAPTER 3 – THRANDUIL Tonight would be the night. I had felt as tense as a newly made bowstring all day. I could not eat, sleep, or relax. There was no way of escaping this day. I looked up at the sun. It was not even midday and I was already a nervous wreck. I leaned back and let the suns rays warm my skin, while letting my mind wander. I had tried to dance around my father for an entire moon. I had been the good son. I had done what he had expected of me. So instead of being suspicious, he had been proud. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice when he talked about this wonderful change in his only son. He even stated that he finally felt that there would become a regent out of me someday – he had faith in me. These words almost broke my heart. I had no wish to disappoint him, but neither did I have a choice. I sighed as I closed my eyes. I had been thinking, trying to figure out what to tell my father when the dreaded hour would arrive. How does one explain something like this? I could almost hear Thranduil laugh in disbelief before I would feel the sting of his hand across my face. His only son, the heir to the great kingdom of Mirkwood, was expecting. And there was no even a sire for the bastard child. Oh yes, the sires. I had been giving that much thought. I decided I would not tell my father of a single one. I would simply tell him I did not know. What was the most disgraceful I did not know, but I was sure my father’s heart could not bear to know that no matter who it was, it would be either servants or the eldest prince of Imladris. To share bloodline with Elrond was not one of my father’s greatest wishes. I opened my eyes just in time to see Edwen walk my way. It could not be denied that he was a beautiful young elf, and yet I had been avoiding him for two moons now. The words burning on my lips, I wished to tell him, to let him know what I carried inside of me could be his. But I did not. He could not know of my condition in the first place, let alone grasp the concept of me carrying a child. He would never know – this I had vowed to myself. He came and sat down on the wooden bench next to me. He smiled, but looked so sad and puzzled “Legolas are you feeling alright?” he asked softly I nodded weakly, “I am fine Edwen. Thank you for your concern.” /liar/ Edwen bit his lip. I could see he had wanted to say something more, but did not dare to. I was not sure I wanted to hear it. “I guess I just miss my mother. This time of year always makes me melancholy,” I said, even managing a smile Edwen nodded. “If you say so prince Legolas,” he whispered, clearly not believing me. He made a move to get up. “Forgive me for interrupting you on this fine day, I should be going...” the young elf trailed off. I looked up at him and smiled once more. The sun was leaving his face in darkness, but shining on his golden hair so that it seemed like an aura of gold. He would be a stunning lover for someone else one day I thought sadly. “You did not interrupt.” The young elf sighed and nodded. “If you need me, you know where I am.” “Yes, thank you Edwen,” I answered. I closed my eyes once more to signal that this conversation was over. A signal which Edwen clearly got, for I heard him walk away from the bench again, crossing the gravel on the little path between the flowers and the grass. Poor young elf, I thought to myself. I hoped that he was not the sire. He was much too young, and what had I been thinking in the first place to bed my father’s personal servant? For a brief second I wondered if my father bedded him too, but pushed that thought from me quickly, not daring to think of it. The sun was beginning to set, and I must have fallen asleep at some point. When I heard the bell indicating that the evening meal was to take place, I felt my heart race as it tried to free itself from my ribcage. It was time. Where was that healer? Had he decided to flee Mirkwood? When I finally heard his voice, I let out a sigh of relief “My prince,” he said coolly. “Well met healer. I see you have not fled the borders of this realm yet,” I answered equally cool. “I thought of it,” he stated. He sat down on the space of the bench where Edwen had been hours before. I turned to look at him and noted that he looked as though he had not slept for days. “You look terrible.” “I know,” he said and rose to his feet again. “Shall we?” The causality in his voice amazed me, but I just stood up next to him and nodded. “Yes, you will wait outside the door on the talan, and come in when I call for you.” The healer nodded and began to walk towards the talan where the royal family always ate their meals, and I walked right behind him. We must have looked as though we were walking into the fires of mount doom itself, for the maids and servants looked at us with hardly concealed surprise. Once on the talan, I opened the door, risking a quick glare to the healer who nodded and squatted down as he prepared to wait there for some time. I smiled weakly and entered the dining chamber. My father was seated and already eating. There were only four other elves at the table, all of who were my father’s advisors. I wished they would leave, or did I wish for them to stay? I was not sure. “Good evening ada,” I said and sat down on my chair, watching my father closely as a servant poured some hot soup in my bowl. “Legolas, where have you been?” he asked. He looked so worried that I almost fled the chamber. “In the gardens,” I replied simply as I began to stir the soup with a spoon. Thranduil said nothing more, but also returned to his meal. I stayed quiet for the entire meal, and only answering politely when my father’s advisors spoke to me. Once the meal was over I pushed my goblet away from me and, for the first time since my arriva, addressed my father. “Ada, would you please stay behind? I need your counsel.” “Of course penneth,” he said with a smile Oh how I wished he wouldn’t smile. “Thank you.” He dismissed his advisors. I stood and walked over to his chair, kneeling to rest my head on his knee. “Ada I must tell you s-something, something that will be hard for you to understand, but p-please try,” I heard myself whisper. I felt my father’s hand comb through my hair as he mumbled, “is something amiss my child?” “I…I… did not know this could happen ada,” I whispered, ridiculously close to tears as I looked up and saw the worried expression on my father’s face. “I had a hard time understanding it myself.” But my father did not say anything, did not lend a helping hand. He was waiting for me to say what it was that was troubling me “I am with child, ” I said and looked away from his deep blue eyes. I heard my father laugh softly. “But my dearest Legolas, you are a male, there is no need for you to think such folly.” “It is the truth ada,” I said weakly, trying not to cling to him. “The healer is waiting outside the door, he will tell you my words are true.” My father frowned deeply “HEALER!” he roared. The door immediately opened gently and the little healer scuffled inside, and closed it just as gently again. He bowed to his Lord. “Your majesty,” he said in a thin voice “What is this nonsense you have told my son?” Thranduil demanded of the shaking healer. “It is not nonsense my King, it is but the truth,” the healer whispered and took a small step towards my father and me. I was painfully aware how pathetic I must look, clinging to my father’s leg. I let go and slowly pushed myself up on my feet again, still not ready to meet my fathers gaze. I began to untie the leather vest, before I threw it to the floor. “That is the reason I have been wearing this,” I whispered, and as if had the healer read my mind, he came to stand next to me. Father looked upon me. The proud gaze his eyes had held for the last month faded and died as if some one blew out a candle. All his dreams and hopes for me were gone, only pain was left. He reached out and touched my swollen abdomen with a ghostly touch “Ai,” he whispered to himself, as he seemed hypnotized by the mere contradiction of this. When he finally tore his gaze from his hand on me he stood up, and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at both the healer and me. “You have kept it a secret from me, for this long?” We nodded together. “But I was going to tell you my King. I would have told you earlier… but...but,” the healer stammered. “But I made him stay silent ada. Please do not punish him, for he has done nothing wrong,” I whispered and risked a look at my father. He was absolutely enraged. “I punish who I wish to punish young Legolas,” my father hissed. “Pray tell young one, who sires this spawn of yours?” I paled. This was the dreaded moment; this was what had kept me awake for several nights. What was I to answer?! “I…I…do not know,” I finally stuttered with my head hung and my gaze to the floor. “Not only do you take male lovers, like those degenerate elves from Imladris, but you take so many that you do not even know who sires this *thing* growing inside you! You are a disgrace Legolas,” Thranduil said coolly. “Father, please,” I whimpered. But I reached no more words before I felt the sting from the slap across my face. “You are no longer a prince. I have no heir,” he declared with a voice thick with emotion. I am sure that if I had dared to look up, he would have been close to tears as well. “No, Ada, Do not do this,” I cried in desperation as I fully understood what my father had just said. He disowned me, renouncing our family ties. /No, no, no. This cannot be/ I looked up at him, but was only rewarded with a sharp slap. I quickly looked at the floor once more, watching through a blur as my tears dripped on the floor between my feet. “You!” he apparently addressed the healer, “You will leave for your talan, and I will deal with you later. You are dismissed.” I heard footsteps hurry away, and the door open and close. I was once more alone with my father. The silence filled the room. It was so think one could almost touch it, taste it. I held my breath, hoping that I would not aggravate my father more. “See to it that he gets a horse, and an escort to the border,” he said to someone I could not see. I raised my head once more, and grabbed my father’s sleeve. “Father please, I will find a way to get rid of this problem. I promise. Do what you want, but please don’t send me away,” I begged and gripped his arm. “I am King Thranduil of Mirkwood, not your father” he hissed and thrust me from him. I stumbled and fell over, sitting on the floor I reached out yet again for his robe “Ada, you cannot send me away, I have nowhere to go,” I cried pitifully. But Thranduil just took a step away, and my fingers slipped from the silk robe. “Be gone by nightfall or I will slay you where you stand,” he said, sweeping out of the dining room and leaving me alone on the floor with two guards looking down at me. “Come Legolas, we must hurry,” one of the guards said. He lent me a hand to get up. I nodded and left the dining room the same way I came in, closely followed by the guards. Not having time to gather my belongings, we just went directly to the stables. A servant brought me a little black horse, and when I took a hold of the reins, I turned towards the guard that had given me his hand. I wished my tears would stop falling, but they just kept on. “Can I have a sword or a bow? Just something to defend me with?” I whispered. The guard smiled and gave me his bow and arrows. “Here Legolas. I pray they will keep you safe until you find a haven somewhere,” he said kindly. I smiled weakly back at the guard. “Thank you. Would you do me another favour?” I asked with a thin voice. The guard nodded and I continued, “Will you tell Edwen I left? And that I hope our paths will cross again. I will miss him dearly.” The guard nodded once more. “I will do so when we return,” he vowed. I smiled and mounted the horse. With a very heavy heart I rode out of the stables of my father’s kingdom. I was never to return, never to be greeted by my father’s warm voice, never to come home again. As we rode out of the stables, I noticed the healer standing on his talan looking after me, and I hoped that one day I would have the opportunity to write him a letter to tell him what had happened. I hoped that my father would not be too merciless in his punishment. I looked away and followed the guard in front of me. This was it; this was the departure of the former prince of Mirkwood. I could not have thought of a more terrible departure. The only thing missing was me being gagged and tied to the horse. I was homeless, sireless, and pregnant. A strange giggle rose from my throat. If someone had asked me three months ago if I thought this scenario could be reality, I would have laughed in their face and told them they had a too vivid imagination. But this was no nightmare. This was reality. I was leaving. Elvish; (Edwen = another) CHAPTER 4 – THE PRINCE OF RIVENDELL We had been riding all night, and now when the sun sent its first weak rays over the treetops, we were about to reach the boarders of Mirkwood. I had been thinking, trying not to notice the surroundings, but instead keeping my gaze on the horse. I would ride to Lothlorien, it was nearer, and I greatly needed to see Haldir. I was certain he would be my friend no matter how tense the situation was. The guards stopped, and dismounted looking up at me. “Here we are Pr... Eh, Legolas,” the guard that had given me his bow said. “We are to ride with you no longer.” I nodded, and to my irritation I began to cry again. “I can’t begin to thank you for the kindness you have shown me,” I whispered. “Think nothing of it. I will pray the Valar that the King will have a change of heart,” he leaned in a whispered so that the other guard would not hear. “May I ask where you will turn?” I bit my lip and hung my head. “I have friends in the golden wood,” I whispered, “I will go there first, if they too should reject me… I cannot tell you.” This thought alone was so depressing that I had to pat the horse’s mane just to calm myself. “Good, then I should be on my way Legolas,” the guard said, noticing the other guard eyeing him for standing so close to me and spending too much time talking. “Take care friend,” I said softly. I was about to spur my horse, when I suddenly grabbed the guard’s tunic, “Pray tell guard of Mirkwood, what is your name?” “Telin, my name is Telin,” the somewhat startled guard said. “Good name,” I answered and let go of the guard. I took a deep breath and gave the guards a farewell gesture. “May the Valar protect you.” “May the Valar protect you,” the guards answered in unison, before mounting their horses once more. I exhaled slowly and spurred the horse on, riding towards Lothlorien in a quick pace. I did not even dare to look back at the only home I had ever known, for seeing the vast forest of Mirkwood disappear behind me would send me into crying once more. I continued riding for some hours until my stomach began to growl, and then I remembered I had not even been allowed to bring provisions. This would all just have to wait until I reached the golden woods. My relief was great once I could see the path to Lothlorien, and I estimated I would be there when the sun rose once more. Until then I would be alone out here in no man’s land. Why had I asked that guard what his name was? Who cared? I had never cared before. I had never bothered with the names of my father’s guards. I silently sent a prayer to the Valar that my father would not punish Telin for showing kindness towards me. The guard had known the risk he took by even helping me up from the floor. I wondered why he had done it. Why had he willingly brought the risk of my father’s wrath upon him? And what about the healer? That poor gentle creature I had pushed him – forced him in there so that I would not face Thranduil alone. /Of all the selfish acts in the world/ Suddenly a lump formed in his throat. ‘I will have to find a way to give the healer a message.’ I had been riding all day, and both the horse and I were exhausted. I decided to rest for some hours. I did not expect to sleep, but to rest my weary body would be welcome. I dismounted and took its reins off, to let it run freely, while I sat down against a large rock and relaxed. Where indeed would I turn if the lady should reject me? I had but one place to turn to then. My father would be furious, but at this time I imagine he would expect it from me. /Rivendell/ I would have to go to Imladris, to seek the counsel of Lord Elrond, to crawl in the dirt as a beggar for him to let me in, and help me. I hoped it would not come to this. I knew the healer was rather unpopular at my father’s court because he admired Lord Elrond so. But I had to agree with the meek healer, the lord of Imladris was the best healer on the face of Arda, not even my father could change that. And then there was Elladan. He had been a brief acquaintance, but perhaps the most odd lover I had ever had. I found myself smiling at the memory of the half-elf. He was a dangerous and skilled fighter, and had a very bad temper. I would have thought him to be a rough and demanding lover. But I was amazed; for on the contrary, Elladan had been the tenderest elf I had ever met. Not only that; but he had not wanted to claim me. Though he had done so, for that is how I had wished it. I remembered the first time I had seen the elder twin. He had been barging into the camp we had by the Bruinen, telling us to get up and about, for a large group of orcs was heading in our direction, and would reach this camp within the next hour. I had found him capable and handsome. He was a true prince in my eyes. What ever had he thought of me? I was but a toy, a stupid young elf that had went along with the game. -*Flashback*_ “Are they all dead?” I asked wiping some of the vile beasts blood from my forehead. “I believe so,” the dark prince from Rivendell answered and smiled at me. I stepped up next to him, feeling awfully little and frail beside his larger frame, something he must have had inherited from his mortal ancestors. “Thank you for warning us.” The half-elf smiled. “Even though you are Mirkwood elves, you should not be slain in your sleep by orcs.” “I thank you non the less,” I said and plucked out an arrow from an orc carcass. “Tell me, our Rivendell saviour; I know you are Lord Elrond’s son, I can see that much, but which one?” “I am Elladan,” the dark haired elf said and chuckled, “and who are you?” “I am Legolas, son of Thranduil,” I said and tried to look dignified. “I finally meet you. I have heard much of you. Haldir has had some nice things to say concerning the fair prince of Mirkwood,” Elladan smirked. I blushed, much against my will, and just hoped that the dark would cover my face. “I have lots of praises for Haldir as well.” “I bet,” the half elf snickered, “come, prince of Mirkwood, allow me to offer you some wine we brought with us from Imladris.” “Thank you kindly,” I said and followed Elladan over to his horse, where he picked up a bottle from the saddlebag. “Do you have glasses around here,” he asked, “or do we drink of the bottle?” I laughed, “We drink from the bottle my friend, we might be elves, but we are not that vein as to bring goblets on a border patrol.” Elladan chuckled, “So be it. You *do* have a tent do you not? Or shall we try and relax in the midst of all these dead bodies?” “I have a tent,” I said smiling and gestured for him to follow, “here Prince Elladan.” Elladan walked inside and slumped down with his back against my cot. “What a lovely tent you have,” he said and let his eyes roam the inside of my temporary shelter. “Thank you. My father tends to be a bit overprotective, so I get to have a tent,” I laughed. “It is not the worst thing to have out here,” he smiled and patted the ground next to him, “come, sit.” He began to open the wine bottle, and looked up at me. “Haldir said you have a wonderful voice for singing. Will you sing for me now prince Legolas?” he asked. This time when I blushed there was no darkness here to hide me. “But of course Prince Elladan,” I said and gracefully sat down next to him. And so I sang, and we drank some of the dark potent wine from Imladris. After some time, Elladan suddenly turned his head and gently took a hold of my chin. “Here is to our victory,” he whispered huskily before kissing me. When he broke off the kiss I could feel my pulse race, and my body ache for more, more of what I had just tasted. I began to undo Elladan’s armour, and the light breastplate fell to the ground with a soft thud. “This is the benefit of having my own tent,” I whispered and let my hands run down Elladan’s chest, which was only clothed in a thin tunic. I could feel every curve and every muscle underneath. He leaned in to kiss me once more, a tender but demanding kiss, and his hand came to rest on the nape of my neck “I should be leaving,” he whispered. “And yet you are not,” I whispered back, and began to remove his tunic, wanting to touch that soft skin. “No I am not,” he whispered and suddenly leaned in to playfully suckle on my earlobe. I had never suspected such tenderness or playfulness from this esteemed warrior. This tenderness echoed in my own touches as I explored Elladan’s chest, neck and back with my hands. Then Elladan suddenly stood up on his feet dragging me along with him. Once there, he skilfully removed my clothes from my torso. I wrapped my arms around him and sucked in a sharp breath of air as I felt his warm skin against mine. He turned with me in his arms and gently placed me on the cot. I looked up, and saw only lust and compassion in his eyes. Elladan was truly an enigma. He smiled and removed my boots, before he began to unlace my leggings. I lifted my behind so they would slide off easier, and once I lay there naked, I felt the half-elf’s eyes wander over my entire body. “You are truly beautiful,” he whispered and kicked off his boots in order to remove his own leggings. I wrapped my arms under my head, and looked at the naked elf standing in front of me. He looked exactly as I had expected. He was large, smooth, flawless, and broader than an average elf. Though he was made of a rougher build, he still had the long limbs of an elven male. He was amazing, the perfect blend. “I dare say, you are the beautiful one,” I whispered. He laid down next to me and let his hand run over my stomach, “Then have me,” he whispered, looking up at me. “No,” I whispered back, and kissed him gently. I pushed him to his back, following the move myself to roll on top of him. “We will do this my way.” He looked on me, his large grey eyes were filled with expectation, and he let his hands run down my sides before finally resting them at my hips. “Then who am I to object,” he said softly and bit his lip. This was an irresistible gesture, and I leaned over to kiss him. I moved up so that I ended up straddling him. I could feel his erection react against my skin. His hands moved down lower to massage my buttocks, and I raised my hips as an invitation. He immediately took it, gently running his fingertips over my opening. I heard myself moan in his mouth as he slowly began to prepare me for what was to come. Elladan seemed to enjoy this task too, for his breathing began to increase in speed. When I felt his fingers leave, they were quickly replaced by something larger, smoother, and harder. I tilted my hips again, so that I could slowly impale myself. The sensation of the first penetration was so precious that I wanted it to last for as long as possible. I opened my eyes and looked at the elf beneath me. A fine layer of sweat was forming on his upper lip, and he had closed his beautiful eyes, giving himself to this sensation. When I impaled myself completely I stopped and felt the tingling sensation throughout my entire body. When I began to move, it tore the sweetest little soft moan from deep within Elladan. I started to move by instinct, determined to pleasure both of us as much as possible. Elladan began to thrust back, then tensing, and clawing at the covers. When I opened my eyes he looked as though he were in pain. “What is wrong?” I whispered and purred as his erection stoked that delicious spot inside me. “I…I...” he panted, and then clenched his fists around the covers, tensing so much that the veins in his neck stood out. “You haven’t… I cannot.” Then I realized what he meant, and I leaned over and kissed his lower lip gently. “Just let go, it is alright.” I had barely said those words before the thrusts from Elladan became quick and his body seemed to spasm as he released himself inside me. Upon seeing his abandonment I felt myself come undone, and my world narrowed down to just one sensation, until it filled all of my body and soul. When I opened my eyes again, I looked down at Elladan who was gazing up at me with a sweet smile on his face. I gently got off him and laid down once more, cuddling up to the large frame. “Thank you,” he whispered, “I will never again say that Mirkwood elves are inhospitable.” I chuckled and kissed his shoulder gently “And I will never again say that Imladris elves are incapable of learning.” Elladan laughed softly and kissed my nose. “I am afraid I will have to leave now.” “Yes,” I said and kissed the half-elf one last time, before letting go of him. “You should return to your camp before your patrol party believes you dead.” Elladan nodded and sat up, wiping off my semen with the bed linen. He averted my eyes a bit shyly as he began to dress. When he finally clasped the buckles on the breastplate, he managed a smile before he picked up the half empty bottle of wine. He looked at me once more and leaned in to kiss me passionately. “Goodbye and fare well, fair prince of Mirkwood,” he said through a smile. “Take care, prince Elladan of Imladris,” I wrapped the sticky linen around me, feeling terribly naked now. He nodded and quickly swept out the tent. -*End of flashback*- This had been the first and last time I had seen Elladan, son of Elrond Halfelven. The memory still filled me with a soft sensation, but for some strange reason, also the feeling of being used for a purpose. Would Elladan have kissed me, had I not been a prince of Mirkwood? Would he kiss me now that I was no longer of my father’s house? I watched the sun set once more, and decided it was time to move on. I wanted to reach Lothlorien as quickly as possible. I stood up and gathered the bow with its arrows from the ground. I whistled once, and after a moment I heard the thundering of hooves and the little black horse was coming up the little hill to greet me. “Come friend, let us get this journey over with,” I said and the horse bobbed its head, as if it understood my need for haste. I chuckled and laid the rein back on its head before swinging myself up on its back. I hoped the rest of the way would be equally eventless. I longed for Haldir. I longed to sit in the open of his talan, speaking of nothing important, drinking hot tea with relaxing herbs in it, and perhaps honey too. I longed for a friend. At sunrise, I told myself, at sunrise. Elvish; (Telin – ‘I have come’ – here used as a name)