Legolas scrambled to the edge of the trail and looked over. The landslide was still in motion, plunging ever further down the mountain. Legolas strained his eyes through the rain. For a split-second, he saw a blur of gold which disappeared in the tidal wave of falling rock.
"Haldir!!" he cried, his voice drowned out against the tumult. His eyes searched frantically through the shifting mass of debris; and at last, as the slide ran itself out, the splash of color appeared again, a hundred yards below.
Legolas called out again and again, but no response was forthcoming. A terrible fear gripped him, and he looked for a way to go down. The path he was on made a switchback down the hillside not fifty yards away. This was the direction he took, for it was too steep to try and go straight down the hill, especially with the instability. He ran almost recklessly, rounding the switchback and following the path to the place just below where Haldir was lying. He scrabbled up the few rock-strewn yards between them, and dropped to his knees beside him.
Right away, he could see that Haldir was badly injured. The guardian was unconscious, blood streaming from a wound that stretched from his left temple back over his ear, disappearing into a bloodied tangle of matted hair. Another abrasion, oozing red, ran along his jaw. A deep, jagged gouge ran the length of one leg, pouring forth a dangerous torrent of blood. The only other immediately noticeable damage was his right arm, which was twisted at an unnatural angle.
"Haldir!" Legolas's voice was as urgent as his touch, meant to rouse, was gentle.
"Haldir! Can you hear me?"
Haldir did not move.
Legolas's mind began to fill with scenarios, each one more ghastly than the next. He checked for more injuries, while at the same time fighting against the image of Haldir bleeding to death, for even the Elven self-healing ability had its limits. What if Haldir never woke up and died there on the mountainside? Legolas's heart was racing, and every limb shook with fear. What was he to do? They had taught him in the patrol how to tend the injured, but it was as if that knowledge had been crushed along with the body of his captain.
"Stop the bleeding. At least, stop the bleeding," he told himself out loud. "He is losing too much blood."
The medic's kit had been in Haldir's pack, which was now gone. Legolas resorted to whatever was at hand. He removed his drenched cloak, cut notches in one end, then tore three strips off. The rest he rolled into a bundle, which he pressed into the wound on Haldir's leg, then fixed the make-shift bandage in place with the strips of cloth. As he was doing this, Haldir stirred, a soft groan escaping his lips.
"Haldir!" Legolas leaned close and gingerly touched his fingers to Haldir's cheek.
Haldir's eyes opened. His gaze wandered in aimless confusion for a few seconds before coming to rest on Legolas.
"Legolas . . . " he murmured, his voice feeble. He tried to sit up, but his body was not cooperating.
"Lie quietly," Legolas insisted. "You are injured."
"What-what happened?" Haldir asked.
"The mountain came down," Legolas replied, his voice trembling. "You were caught in it."
The recollection came back to Haldir quickly. "Are you hurt?" he asked.
"No, I am not," Legolas replied. A nervous pause. "What do I do, Haldir? I do not know what to do."
Haldir did not reply right away. He made an internal survey of his hurts, and judging from the level of pain, concluded that he was seriously injured in several places. He could not move his right arm at all; and although there was pain in the arm, it was tolerable. His leg was another matter, for it felt as if it were swollen out of the skin. He could move it barely, but each attempt sent spasms of pain shooting throughout its length.
"My leg hurts very badly," he said at last. "What can you see?"
"You have a long, deep gash along the outside, all the way from your hip to your ankle," Legolas replied. "I bandaged it as best I could. It did not feel like it was broken, but it was very deep, down to the bone in some places." He took a deep breath to try and steady his breathing. "Your arm is broken. I am afraid to try and set it. It looks bad."
"I hardly feel it," Haldir replied, which was not quite the truth, but given the pain in his leg, it was, by comparison, mild.
"Your head is bleeding, too," Legolas went on, indicating the gash above his ear. "The-the medic's kit is gone, and I do not know what to do. I bound up your leg, but now I do not know what to do."
Haldir's voice was strained but calm. "What else can we use as bandages?" he asked, closing his eyes again.
Legolas rummaged through his own pack. "We could use my hammock."
Haldir managed a nod. "Do it."
Legolas spent the next thirty minutes doing his best to tend to Haldir's injuries. He fixed his arm securely against his chest, working past Haldir's grimaces and stifled cries of pain. He blotted the blood from the head injury and covered the wound with strips from the hammock. When he had finished, he noticed the gray that had crept in Haldir's complexion.
"Haldir?"
"Yes," Haldir answered, the tone of his voice belying his attempt at controlling the pain.
"What now? What should I do?"
Haldir opened his eyes once again. "We can not stay here," he said.
"But-but can you walk?"
"I will have to," Haldir replied. "You will have to help me."
"Where can we go?" Legolas asked. "There is no way you can make it back down to Lorien."
"Remember where the pathways split, right below the treeline?"
"Yes."
"Take the other path . . ." Haldir's voice was growing thin. "There are caves."
"Haldir, I do not think you can walk-"
"We have no choice, Legolas . . . help me stand."
Legolas put his arms around him and lifted him to his feet.
Haldir wavered. The world spun around him for several seconds; and when it steadied, he was left with the pain. Legolas slipped under his shoulder and began picking a way down to the path. It took over an hour to get below the treeline to where the path split. The rain continued to fall in driving sheets that obscured the trail from time to time and turned the entire mountainside into snaking rivulets, making the going even more arduous.
Another hour passed before they reached the caves. They did not speak a word on the way; and by the time they got there, Haldir was barely conscious, leaning his entire weight against Legolas for support. Legolas picked the first cave they came to, the mouth of which was blocked by a wide, shallow pool of water with stepping stones across it. He took Haldir across and laid him on the ground inside.
"Haldir?" he asked, looking over his captain's injuries. The bandages on his leg and head were saturated with blood, and his breathing was rapid and shallow. "Haldir?"
"My side," Haldir whispered. "S-something is wrong."
Legolas loosened the belt at Haldir's waist, parted his jerkin and lifted the shirt beneath. A quiet gasp passed through his lips. Haldir's lower right side was swollen and mottling with bruises.
"You are bruising," Legolas said, swallowing down his horror. "That means you are bleeding inside."
"Put something cold . . . and heavy on it," Haldir instructed.
Legolas took the remains of his hammock, soaked it in the pool, then placed it over Haldir's abdomen. "What else can I do?"
"There was wood in the back," Haldir replied. "Can you st-start a fire?"
Legolas went into the back of the cave and found a stack of branches. Within moments, he had a fire going. He watched Haldir for several minutes, and his level of anxiety grew. There was no way they would ever make it back to the borders of Lorien with Haldir in his current condition. And Legolas could not be sure that Haldir's body would heal itself. What more could he do? He had to get help somehow. He walked out to the mouth of the cave and looked into the growing darkness. Evening was falling.
If he ran, he could make it back to Lorien in perhaps twelve hours. He glanced back over his shoulder into the cave, and a thought arose unbidden in his mind.
'And it will get me away from him.'
His conscience recoiled in horror at this callous and hideous thought. He could not be so petty and without feeling as to seriously entertain such an idea. The fact was that Haldir needed help, and he was going to have to be the one to bring that help. There were no other factors involved. He dismissed the intruding thought as an aberration, much like-much like the aberration on the cliffs of Manimott Shales. He turned and went back inside the cave.
"I must go back and bring help."
"No, Legolas," Haldir protested weakly, turning his head to regard him over the flames.
"I can not just sit here, Haldir" Legolas replied intensely. "You need help, more than I can give you. I have to go bring help."
"Legolas, no!" Haldir's voice was strained and, if Legolas were not mistaken, verging on panic. "You can not leave me here alone. If anything were to happen, I am helpless."
"But you need help, Haldir! I can not stand by and let you suffer like this!"
Haldir drew in a shallow, struggling breath. "Send word by one of the animals," he said at last.
Legolas wondered if Haldir was even aware of what he was saying. "I can not do that, Haldir! I have never been able to learn that!"
"Legolas, please!" There was desperation in Haldir's voice. "You must try."
Legolas hesitated a moment, then returned to the mouth of the cave. The rain was still coming down; there would be no animals out in such weather. He crossed the stepping stones and jogged along the trail twenty, then thirty yards. There was not a bird in the sky or the trees; not a deer or badger or wild pig in the undergrowth; not a fox or rabbit or even a hardy mountain hare. Every creature had gone to ground against the storm.
Legolas raised his voice in the ancient tongue. He had learned from Haldir that the language was common to the wilderness and the hedgerow, to the plains and the watery places of Arda.
"I need help!" he called out. "I am of the Firstborn, of the Gardens of Ulmo! I am in desperate need of help! My friend is injured!"
There came no answer.
Legolas repeated his plea, moving ever further down the path. And still he was met with silence. He was not even sure he was saying the right words or using the right intonation. For all he knew, he might be receiving replies, but he was not attuned to them. Legolas could read the signs of nature-that he had learned well; but he had never had much success communicating with it. He felt that deficiency most keenly now.
And then, as he was about to give up, he heard a voice - it sounded like a slight tapping on a drum, and yet he could discern words.
"Why do you cry out so?"
Legolas looked about him anxiously. "Who speaks?"
"Here, on your shoulder."
Legolas craned his neck, and there on his shoulder was a wood bee - a hornet.
"My friend is badly hurt. I must get word back to the elves in Lothlorien," Legolas replied.
"I have not heard of the place of which you speak," the hornet replied. "But then, my world is very small. I shall tell the bear. She is my friend, and she knows many creatures who travel great distances. Where is your friend?"
"In the caves further down the trail," Legolas replied.
"Those I know. I shall go now. I know where to find the bear." With that, the hornet was off, dodging rain drops into the forest.
Legolas turned and was about to run back to the cave with news of this hopeful encounter. Yet, he stopped before taking a step. If he went back, he would have to face two enemies: Haldir in pain, which was a terrible thing to see; and the recollection that seeing Haldir forced upon him of that awful moment on the cliff. At that instant, Legolas did not feel strong enough to deal with either one.
He trudged to a moss-covered boulder on the side of the path and leaned against it. He was already wet, so the falling rain mattered little to him. His mind reeled in confusion. He did not know what to make of his own actions, and he knew even less what to make of his reaction to those actions. He was angry at Haldir, but that anger seemed like a subterfuge, a disguise to hide what was really gnawing away at him: the fact that it had been his own initiative that had brought about the kiss. He had long been aware of the pleasure he gained looking at Haldir, touching him, and being touched by him. And he certainly was not going to dismiss the truth of the matter, which was that Haldir had given him an abundance of opportunities to indulge his pleasure. Haldir had withheld nothing that might have contributed to Legolas's happiness.
"Except the seal," Legolas said to the wind. "Why would he withhold that from me? Unless Nenstil and Flagon were right? Oh, that still does not answer the question of why I kissed him! I do not desire him in that way!"
"You cause yourself pointless grief."
Legolas jumped to the alert, his eyes darting among the trees. "Who said that?"
"I am yew tree, but I speak for all present."
Legolas was silent.
"Your friend has passed this way before. He is well known among the creatures here. That is why some of us are willing to talk to you. The truth is, word had already been sent moments after the fall. Hornet did not know. He was being kind, because the rest feared you."
"Why would they fear me?"
"They fear anything unknown, even if it be one of the First-born. Erukyerme Nyello (Praise-singer) has been ever kind to them, and they fear him not. He rouses them to glorify the One. They are fearful now, because he has taken serious hurt. They fear if he departs, they shall never sing again." The yew was silent for a moment, then, "Will you take his place?"
Legolas turned wide-eyed. "Take his place?"
"You are speaking the language. And the wind has heard you before. She said you sing the prayers, the great songs of the Ainur as told in the Ainulindale and the Valaquenta."
"The songs of the Ainur! That music has been lost, corrupted by one whose name I will not mention! No, I have naught to do with such lofty things!" Legolas protested.
"Then why do you sing them?"
"I do not!"
"When you sing or recite the prayers with Erukyerme Nyello, you are taking part in the music of the Ainur. Did he not tell you that?"
Legolas was awestruck. "No, he never told me that." He could sense puzzlement in the air around him.
Another voice, airy light and traveling, spoke. "Then I do not understand why you take part with him."
"Who speaks now?"
"I am the wind. I have watched you often with him. Tell me, why do you take part with him?"
"Be-because I want to be close to him," Legolas replied. "I admire him, and I want to be like him."
"How can you be like him but not know of the music of the Ainur? Has he not told you what he is, and what it would mean for you to be like him?"
Legolas was utterly confused. "I-I do not know," he stammered.
"Then you must ask him, and he must tell you. You can not be like him, if you do not know what he is."
"What is he?"
"He is one who has not forgotten," the yew replied, and Legolas could sense a murmur of agreement around him.
Then another voice, deep and tremulous, spoke out urgently. "He calls for you. He is fearful."
Legolas hesitated not a second but ran back towards the cave, and as he sprang across the stepping stones, he could hear Haldir's voice, thin and breathless, saying his name. He knelt down beside him. "I am here, Haldir."
Haldir regarded him with eyes that refused to focus. "I thought you had left," he said in a whisper.
"No, no, Haldir. I am not going to leave you, I give you my word," Legolas assured him. "I . . . I did it. They spoke to me."
A shadow of a smile showed on Haldir's face. "I knew you could do it."
"It will not be long before help arrives," Legolas said. He paused. "Are you warm enough?"
A nod.
"Could you eat or drink something?"
"No," Haldir replied. "Please just-just stay with me."
"I will." Legolas settled down beside him. For a long time, he watched the fire crackle and hiss, and he listened to Haldir's breathing grow quiet and steady, as the Elven healing powers took over. After several hours, the flames had lowered, and Haldir began to shiver.
Legolas brought another armful of the sparse kindling from the back of the cave. He stoked the fire, but the flames were slow to respond. He lay down beside Haldir, pressing his body close, knowing it would do little good, but hoping to share whatever body heat could pass between them. He could not even put his arm around him, for fear of hurting him; and so he did the only other comforting thing he could think of doing.
He began to sing.
Softy, almost a whisper, there arose the ancient words of an ancient song that Haldir had sung many times, a lesser version of the song he had sung on Legolas's first patrol, when the forces of nature had responded with all their might. This song was nothing so grand; it was humble and imploring. And Legolas had absolutely no idea whether his voice singing it would be heeded. He was not Haldir, and he had no reason to suppose that his petitions would be as efficacious as his captain's. He sang several verses, but nothing happened. He fell silent, but Haldir urged him on.
"Do not stop, Legolas. It comforts me."
Legolas needed no further impetus. He took up where he left off. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the words, and then something amazing happened. He could hear other voices singing with his - thousands, millions of voices, all raised in glorious splendor. They seemed to come from all around him, from within him, from the farthest reaches of Ea, and beyond. And discernible among all the voices, among all the sounds of beauty, was Haldir's voice. Yet, he knew Haldir was not physically singing. No, he was singing somewhere deep inside, in a place where Legolas could still find him among millions.
Legolas reveled in the experience, but then the music began to swell. It swelled to unbearable proportions, threatening to overwhelm Legolas's senses. He had to stop singing, but he could not. He did not know how. It was as if he had gone beyond the clouds, and now there was no way to stop the current that sent him mounting towards the heavens. And then he perceived a word, spoken by whom he knew not; and the singing stopped.
When he opened his eyes, he saw the fire had grown high and strong. He pushed up onto his elbow and looked down at Haldir who was regarding him with a serenity that was in stark contrast to the rest of his appearance.
"The same thing happened to me the first time," he said, and his voice was still wispy. "But He does not will to hurt us, so He directs its closure."
"Is that-is that what happens to you every time?"
"When I began," Haldir replied. "It is much greater now."
"Greater than that?!"
"Much greater."
"I do not think I could have endured anything greater," Legolas said in wonder.
"Of course, you can," Haldir replied. "He will show you."
This was too much for Legolas to contemplate, too incredible a concept. He was not completely sure what had just happened, but he knew what he had felt. He had felt himself a part of something so immense, so unfathomable that he had almost lost himself in it. And yet, he had not been insignificant. There had been rejoicing over his presence. He had felt as if he had belonged, as if something or someone cherished him. It had been both incredibly exhilarating and incredibly frightening. In the ecstasy of that consuming love, he had known that some part of him was dying-a part of him that he was not willing to surrender. He shuddered. These were mind-boggling thoughts. He turned to something more concrete. "Did it help you?"
"It helped my spirits."
"And your body?"
Haldir swallowed. "No, Legolas. He will not break the rules - not even for me." He paused, gathering his strength. "This will not heal on its own, Legolas. I can feel that much. I require a healer."
Legolas was quiet for several seconds, then he asked hesitantly, "Are you scared, Haldir?"
Haldir answered after a long silence. "I am afraid, but not of dying. The thought of Mandos has never frightened me. I am afraid that I will mourn for what I leave behind." He paused. "Are you afraid?"
"Yes," Legolas replied. "I am afraid of this moment, right now. I am afraid that I am not doing everything I can. And I am afraid-afraid that I have lost your friendship, that I have confused things beyond hope, beyond reason."
Haldir's voice was gentle. "I am not confused," he said. "After hearing you sing that prayer, I am more certain now than ever." He looked directly into Legolas's eyes and saw the apprehension there. "Come closer."
Legolas hesitated.
"You must trust me, Legolas," Haldir insisted. "I am fully aware of what I am doing."
Legolas leaned closer.
"More," Haldir said, and Legolas drew nearer.
With considerable effort, Haldir raised his head until his lips touched Legolas's in a kiss of great tenderness, despite its brevity. It was completely unlike the kiss on the cliffs of Manimott Shales. It bespoke a bond, a love so immense that Legolas felt he could never fill its boundaries.
"That is my seal," Haldir said, lying back. "It is not the bond I had hoped to give you." His voice was growing weak again. "I wanted more for you. . . but right now it is impossible."
"It is enough for me," Legolas said, a smile gracing his beautiful features. "Nothing more do I want . . . except to do the same for you." He leaned down, and this time the kiss was one of brotherhood and compassion. And it felt right; it felt wonderful. He drew back. "I have been horrible to you. How can you forgive me? How can you even bear to look upon me?"
Haldir smiled. "Silly questions," he whispered, closing his eyes.
Legolas knew he would sleep now, and so he was silent.
The night passed slowly. Haldir woke up in delirium several times, murmuring incoherently until Legolas could soothe him back into sleep. Legolas did not sleep at all, but maintained vigilant watch. By morning, Haldir's breathing had grown liquidy, and his pallor was ghostly. As the first rays of sunlight crept through the mists and into the cave, Legolas got up and fueled the fire again, after which he had only enough wood for one more stoking. He then went to the mouth of the cave, crossed the stepping stones and went out into the damp, misted morning.
He trotted down the path to where he had heard the yew tree.
"I am here again," he announced. "Is there any who will speak to me?"
"I will speak to you." It was the yew tree.
"Is there any word? Is help coming?" Legolas asked anxiously.
"I have heard nothing, but that does not signify. If the wind were here, she could tell us; but alas, today there is no wind," the yew replied. "It was hawk that took word back to the hill of the Firstborn. Hawk will lead them here. Any report of their movement likely goes by the trees, and we are notoriously slow." A thoughtful pause. "But Hawk often sends messages through other flying creatures. Perhaps . . . "
A moment later, Legolas recognized the small voice that had been his first encounter with the vast world of Aluvater's other creations. It was the hornet, alighting on the back of his hand.
"Hawk guides them even now. They set out in the middle of the darkness," he explained.
"They could be here by late afternoon," Legolas said hopefully. "I must tell Haldir!"
"How is Erukyerme Nyello?" the yew tree asked. "We heard the song in the night, but it was not his voice that led it. You were the singer."
"Yes, it was I," Legolas replied. "He is not well at all. He grows weaker, and there is nothing I can do. I sang the song because I thought it would give him peace. And it did, for a while."
"Others of the Firstborn have used 'uminuae' root to give peace to pain," the yew tree offered.
"I am afraid to give him anything, his injuries are so diverse," Legolas said.
"If you change your mind, I can tell you where it grows," came the reply. "The spot is also a good place to see down into the valley. You will be able to see those whom you await, perhaps."
"That is good to know," Legolas said gratefully. "I may ask you to give me that information later on."
"I shall come and tell you if I hear more from the winged creatures," the hornet assured him. "For in the last darkness, I heard the song for the first time. I am only recently come into the world, and my life is short; but I wish to hear it again."
"You shall," Legolas promised. "I give you my word. You have been a friend to me. I shall not forget it." A pause. "I must go back to Haldir. I do not like leaving him alone."
"We shall watch for the arrival of your friends," the yew tree said.
"I am indebted to you," Legolas replied, then he turned and went back to the cave.
Entering, he found Haldir now conscious.
"There is news," Legolas announced, kneeling down beside him. "A party has set out from Lorien."
Haldir gave a feeble smile but said nothing. Speaking had become an effort.
Legolas touched him gently. "It will not be much longer."
A minute nod was all the response he received.
Although Legolas had been relieved at the thought that deliverance was now being measured in hours, he discovered that hours of waiting were the slowest in passing. Late in the afternoon, the rain began to fall again. Legolas grew worried, for there had come no word that the rescuers were any closer. As the sun began to set, he could stay his concern no longer.
"Haldir?"
Haldir did not open his eyes and gave no response.
"Haldir?!" Legolas cried urgently, shaking him.
Haldir's eyes opened abruptly. "Wh-what has happened?!"
Legolas almost collapsed in relief. "Nothing, nothing has happened. I only-I wanted to tell you that I am going to go out for a few minutes to see if I can spot them coming. Will you be alright?"
"Yes . . . go," Haldir replied, then he asked, "More wood?"
"There is no more," Legolas replied. "And I do not think I will find anything outside that is dry enough. It has been damp the whole day, and it is raining again now."
"Cold . . ."
Legolas looked into his pack, but there was nothing there that would help; so he emptied it of its contents and placed in it the glowing embers, bringing forth a small flame. "It is the best I can do, Haldir."
Haldir only nodded.
"I am going now," Legolas said. "I will not be long." He stepped out into the rain and ran down the path to the yew tree. Before he had even announced himself, the yew tree spoke.
"You are back."
"No one has come yet, and my friend is much worse," Legolas eplained. "I thought they would be here by now."
"I will have wren guide you to the opening in the forest. You will be able to look down into the valley from there. And he will show you uminuae; it may be helpful," the yew said.
"Thank you," Legolas said, and a moment later a white-breasted wren alighted on a branch in front of him. "Show me!"
He followed the bird through untrailed woods. Twenty minutes later, he came to a treeless, rocky outcropping that afforded a far-reaching view of the valley he and Haldir had come up the day before. It was partly obscured in rain and fog, but Legolas searched as far as his eyes could penetrate. The wren went down into the valley for him, darting through the trees, skimming over the trail, but there was nothing to see.
Nothing to see in the valley.
By the time Haldir recognized the sounds of movement, it was too late. The voices that followed were directly over him.
"Look at that. He's an elf."
"So he is. Sedog was right. These hills are filled with hidden treasure." There was a suggestive hint in the tone.
They were the voices of men.
The first voice spoke again. "There may be more of them. Check the back. I'll look over here."
During the half-minute that followed, Haldir's mind, grown ever more sluggish as his injuries continued to take their toll, teetered between two thoughts: Who were these men and what did they want? And where was Legolas? What if Legolas were to return unexpectedly while these men were in the cave? He might unwittingly walk into a bad situation, for Haldir did not hold out much hope that these men were friendly. That thought was, to Haldir, more terrifying than what these men might do to him. Legolas must not return, not yet. But how could he keep him away?
The first voice broke in on his thoughts, ordering, "Keep an eye on him. I'll go tell Sedog."
Shortly thereafter, Haldir could hear the sounds of many footfalls entering the cave. He would not be able to continue playing unconscious for much longer.
One particular set of footfalls came close beside him, and he could hear the sound of a body hunkering down.
"This is a sight not often seen. He's taken a beating, I'll say."
Someone prodded him in the shoulder; and when he did not respond, the prod grew into a jab.
Haldir opened his eyes to see a man squatting down next to him. He had a narrow-eyed, swarthy look that immediately identified him as a southling, and he was dressed in road attire that marked him as nothing more formal than a ruffian. This, Haldir surmised, must be Sedog. Behind and around him was arrayed a gaggle of twenty-five, perhaps thirty, similarly outfitted men. They were all watching their leader's actions with a sort of perverse interest.
"There we are, now," Sedog said, nodding his head with satisfaction. "That's better. I didn't believe you were asleep. Elves don't sleep." His eyes scanned over Haldir's injuries. "Although you look like it might do you some good. What happened to you?"
Haldir made no answer. There was something unnatural and sinister in the man's voice, in his very presence.
"Come now, there's no reason why you shouldn't answer me," Sedog went on. "Why, we might even be able to help you." He cast a smiling glance back over his shoulder. "Isn't that right, friends?" He looked back to Haldir. "How were you injured?"
Still, Haldir remained silent.
"You don't understand me? Or you want to pretend you don't understand me." Sedog's voice was gutteral. "It doesn't matter." He reached out and touched the abrasion along Haldir's jaw. "I've never been this close to an elf before." His thumb crept up Haldir's chin to caress his lower lip. "Never touched an elf before . . . it's nice."
Haldir turned his head away, but Sedog only chuckled softly. "Do you think that's going to dissuade me? It isn't every day that an elf falls into your grasp, but today the powers are smiling on me. Elves are the makings of legends. I would not pass up my chance of becoming a legend." He ran his hand down Haldir's throat. "But you are wrapped like a parcel in the butcher's window. You did not do this yourself. Where are your companions?"
Haldir had planned on being silent to all of his inquiries, but here he found what might be a slim chance of encouraging them to leave. He turned his head again and looked directly at Sedog. "I had only one companion," he replied, his voice remarkably steady, as the adrenalin prepared his body for whatever was to come. "He has gone back to bring help."
Sedog smiled. "You have a pretty voice." A pause. "And a pretty mouth. I wonder what else is pretty about you."
"They will be here soon," Haldir said, doing his best to ignore the implications of Sedog's speech.
"I believe you," came the reply. "That is why I don't plan to take long." He made a motion to one of his men, who then sent two more outside to take up posts. "I would not want to be caught out by a group of angry elves. And they will be angry if they see what I have planned for you." He got to his feet and took a step back. "Cut him out of all of that clap-trap."
A handful of men descended upon him only to discover that an injured elf, even one so gravely injured as Haldir, was still a formidable adversary. The terror of the moment had given Haldir a return of strength and clarity of mind, enabling him to subdue the pain for a short time at least. It took only the blink of an eye for Haldir to snatch a knife from the hand of one of his attackers. A second later, the knife was plunged into the neck of its former wielder; and following that, jammed in between the ribs of a second attacker. As Haldir withdrew the knife, a stunning blow impacted the side of his head, bringing blood from the previous wound; and for a moment, the world spun into chaos. He felt the knife being wrenched from his hand. A cry of pain followed-it was his own voice-as he watched with a certain sense of unreality while his arm was pressed to the ground and the knife driven through his palm, pinioning his hand to the cave floor.
As his thoughts began to fall back into order, he noted that there was a lot of shouting going on, and where before he had sensed only lust, now he sensed anger. The two men he had stabbed were dead. This was hardly surprising; he had not been intending to injure, but to kill. And so he did not need to hear the other men's voices raised in outrage and horror to know that the men were dead.
The hands that were slicing away his clothes and the make-shift bandages had been rough before, but now they were vicious. They raked against his injuries and added new ones as they stripped him to the flesh. When they had finished, they held him in place. Sedog, who had been watching the death throes of the other two men, now came and stood over Haldir. He reached down and yanked free the knife that pierced Haldir's hand.
"Bastard! I could have made it easy on you, but if this is the way you want it . . ." he said in a voice quaking with rage. He slid the knife into his belt. "We can take care of that." He reached down, grabbed Haldir by the hair, and with the help of several others, pulled him to his feet. They began dragging him towards the mouth of the cave.
Immediately, Haldir felt the swell coming up his throat. He vomited blood, dark and thick. The pain in his belly now surpassed anything he felt elsewhere in his body. He could not walk, he could not stand. The cave, the men, their voices, the sound of the rain outside - it all began to disintegrate into sparkling crystals of sight and sound. The faintness was taking him, and then he suddenly found himself plunged head and shoulders into the water. Consciousness returned, panic-stricken and flailing for breath. At last, he was drawn out of the water. As his lungs gasped for air, his body rebelled in a fit of bloody coughing.
"Still any fight in you? Yes, I think there is. I think there is!" A voice taunted, and then he was under the water again. It happened over and over, until Haldir's entire body lay limp in a muddy concoction of silt and water and blood.
"I don't think he'll give you any trouble now." The voice, a new one, came to Haldir as if across a chasm.
It was Sedog who replied. "I almost wish he would. I rather enjoyed that." A pause. "But I think I will enjoy this more. Hold him down, though. I don't trust that he won't get uppity again."
Haldir lay on his stomach, his cheek pressed into the mud, his eyes gazing vacantly out through the mouth of the cave into the forest. He was still sensible but without the strength to move, still aware but unable to stop what he knew was about to take place. If he allowed himself to think of it, the terror would overwhelm him. These men-these pitiful men who neither knew nor cared about the sanctity they were about to violate- would take from him the one thing he had guarded his entire life, the one thing for which he had endured many centuries of longing, for which he had sacrificed all possibility of physical companionship.
He felt several pairs of hands on his body. They spread his legs; they held his arms. Their touch was cold, yet it burned like fire.
He began to pray in silence. If he could summon enough strength to rouse his surroundings, he might be able to reach Legolas, to prevent him from coming.
"Atarna ea han ea, na aire esselya ", he began silently, as he quieted his thoughts. "Aranielya na tuluva, na care indomelya cemende tambe Erumande "
Someone knelt between his legs and took firm hold of his hips, drawing them up off the ground. Insistent fingers spread the flesh of his buttocks.
The words grew more frantic. "Amen anta sira ilaurea massamma, ar amen apsene ucaremmar siv' emme apsenet tien I ucarer emmen."
A slight, tentative touch caused him to flinch violently, bringing a burst of laughter from the onlookers. There followed a continual probing, a tapping that Haldir's body reacted to with revulsion. He attempted to cloister off his mind from the body that was about to be taken for so much sick pleasure, but to no avail. This was his body. It was the body that Aluvater had given him. It was not some corrupt thing to be defiled at will. It was his for all eternity, and no matter how he tried, it was impossible to cordon off some place in his mind where his body could not follow.
He could hear Sedog rousing himself to the act, grunting animal-like, yet no animal would ever pursue a course such as Sedog was now pursuing.
"To the elves!" Sedog bellowed, forcing brutal entry.
The prayer ruptured into pieces. The words catapulted into oblivion; Haldir could not even remember them. He might have cried out, but he could not be sure. He might have found some hidden strength inside and struggled against the arms holding him in place; but that might also have been a dream. The only thing that he knew to be real at that moment was the searing agony - not so much an agony of the body than an agony of the soul. The wholeness, the purity . . . the sacredness was gone. Centuries of selfless denial-everything-destroyed in a single instant.
And now there crept around the fringes, the ghosts of forsakenness and desolation. But these - these might yet be dreams.
The wren returned. His voice was urgent. "You must go back to the cave!"
Legolas looked up from where he was scraping shavings off the root of an uminuae plant. "What is it? What has happened?"
"A party comes from the far side of the mountain!" the wren replied. "Swallow brought word while I was down in the valley."
Legolas stood up. "A party? Of elves?"
"Not elves. Men! They head for the caves."
Legolas was nimble as a deer as he darted through the forest. When he came to the path, the voice of the yew stopped him. "Go in secret! They have set men to watch."
Legolas crouched down in the brush. "Are they in the cave?"
"They are. There are many," the yew replied. "They are cruel to him. Hornet says there are some on the sides of the cave, watching. He can show you where."
Legolas moved parallel to the trail, staying hidden in the woods. He did not need help spotting the two men who stood carelessly, barely concealed, on either side of the cave mouth. He took them out cleanly and silently with two arrows.
The sound of riotous laughter from within twisted his innards into knots. He crept with stealth to the mouth of the cave and carefully peered around the lip and inside. What he saw so inflamed his senses that his reason crumbled under the weight of the image.
Haldir lay naked on the ground, surrounded and held motionless by four men. A fifth man knelt between his legs; and with each jarring thrust the man made, a small swell of blood pulsated forth from the red, frothy spume that now marked Haldir's mouth. His wounds, open and exposed, bled through incrustations of dirt and dry, caked blood.
Around this scene at least two dozen men stood hooting and jeering, spectating the grotesque display.
Legolas had an arrow at the ready. He took a step out from his cover and took aim at the man who was raping his captain. He was about to release when a slight movement caught his eye. Haldir's gaze, which had been fixed and unseeing, was now on him; and his eyes were filled with terror.
"Ba! Bata!" Haldir spluttered. "Auta!" (No! Go back! Stay away!)
The men laughed.
"I think he's praising your skill, Sedog!" one of the men chortled.
The man between Haldir's legs laughed wickedly. "And why wouldn't he?! I don't think he has anything to compare me to!"
Legolas pulled back on the bow.
"Canen-lye!" Haldir insisted. (I order you!)
Legolas hesitated, but he did not lower his weapon.
"Maque . . . auta." Haldir's voice was thin and pleading. (Please, stay back)
At that moment, the man called Sedog gave a curdling scream as he spent himself. Legolas stepped back behind the lip of the cave, but he continued to watch. Sedog stood up and put himself back in order.
"Pleasant," he said carelessly. "Anyone wants a go, I'd do it fast. I don't think he was lying when he said his friend went to get help."
"I'm next," a large, burly man with great lengths of flowing dark hair announced. "He'll be as loose as whore by the time you lot finish with him. I want him while he's still fresh, while he can still feel it."
This speech made Legolas shudder with rage. How could Haldir expect him to just stand by and let them-as many as wanted to-rape him?
'Canen-lye!' The command echoed in Legolas's head. It was an absurd command, the work of delirium and terror. Legolas raised his bow again, nocked the arrow, and drew several deep, steadying breaths. He moved out into the open once again, just as Haldir cried out in a feeble voice as the second man forced his way inside him.
A split-second later, the man was clawing desperately at an arrow in chest. In another five seconds, he was dead. Legolas felled three more before any of the men even realized what was happening. The arrows flew from his bow without pause. He did not even wait to see if an arrow hit the mark before firing again. The number of arrows in his quiver had been reduced to only two when the voice of Sedog commanded his attention.
As soon as Sedog had figured out that it was one lone elf that was assailing them, he had determined to do the only thing he knew would stop the onslaught. He crawled over to where Haldir lay. Rolling him onto his back, he drew him up next to his own body for protection; then he took his dagger and held the point to the base of Haldir's throat.
"One more arrow and he's dead!" he shouted.
Legolas halted with his arrow in place for firing.
"Drop the bow now, or by the fires of Mordor, I'll slit him wide open!" Sedog demanded. "That's one injury that's sure not to heal itself!"
Still, Legolas did not drop his bow.
Sedog pressed the tip of the knife into the skin, drawing blood and a strangled gasp from Haldir. "Drop the bow and he still has a chance to live!"
"I do not believe you!" Legolas retorted. "You will kill him-and me, if I let you!"
"We only wanted to have a little fun," Sedog replied. "And I know there are more elves on the way. We don't want to be around when they get here. So, if you just let us leave, we'll go without any more trouble."
"If you want to go, then go. I will not stop you, but I will not put down my weapon," Legolas said.
"You will shoot us as we pass. The only thing you value is here in my arms right now," Sedog said, his voice sinuous. "I will give you one more chance to drop your weapons, or I will kill him." He pushed the knife a fraction deeper.
Legolas faltered. Haldir was unable to give him any indication of what he should do. This was a decision he had to make on his own. If he refused to put down his bow, Haldir's death was certain. If he attempted to shoot Sedog, he risked hitting Haldir; and even if he were successful, he had only one arrow left; and there were many men still standing. If he surrendered, there was at least the chance, the hope that the rescuers might get there before it was too late.
He lowered his bow and tossed it aside.
"The quiver, too."
Legolas complied.
"Hold your arms out to the side and come across the water," Sedog instructed, still holding the dagger in place.
Legolas walked over the stepping stones, and the second he reached the other side, he was surrounded and held secure.
Sedog put his dagger back in its sheath and passed Haldir into the waiting arms of another man. "A wise decision," he said, getting to his feet and approaching Legolas.
"You said you would let him go," Legolas said, trying to appear undaunted. "You said you wanted to leave."
"And so we will," Sedog replied. "I am a man of my word." He raised a hand to Legolas's cheek. "Only I have a desire to fulfill first." He looked at Legolas for several long seconds, taking in his fair appearance. He took a step back, glanced at Haldir, then back at Legolas. "He is your friend?"
"Yes," Legolas replied.
"Would you do everything in your power to save him?"
Legolas was silent.
"I asked you a question," Sedog persisted.
"Why do you ask me that?" Legolas stalled.
"Because I have a proposition for you," came the reply
Before Legolas could reply, he caught sight of a small insect hovering at the edge of his vision. Then a familiar small voice said, "Your friends are in the valley. They come quickly!"
Legolas struggled to maintain his placid countenance, when his relief was palpable. "Speak your proposition," he said to Sedog.
"Show me how you love your friend, and we will depart with no further incident," Sedog stated.
Legolas felt his ire rise, and his face flushed hot. "My presence here is indication enough of my love for him."
"No, no, I have something else in mind." A pause. "I want to see you show him a good time."
"I will not."
Sedog shrugged. He walked back over to where Haldir was lying semi-conscious in the grip of the other man. "If you will not do it, then I will do it again. All of them will, and much more." He bent down and took firm rough hold of Haldir's head, making to kiss him, but before he could, Legolas cried out.
"No! I will do it!" He fought to control his breathing. "I will do it."
Two men brought him forward. As they pushed him down onto his knees, he yanked away. "I said I will do it. Keep your hands off of me." He looked at Haldir, hoping for some sign, some indication that he was doing the right thing. Instead, he saw his captain looking back at him through dull, fixed eyes. He could not even be sure that Haldir was seeing him. A stream of crimson was bubbling from the corner of his mouth; and Legolas knew the terrible truth: Haldir was beginning to choke on his own blood.
"That's good, that's good. Now, kiss him. You can start by kissing him," Sedog urged, his voice filled with lust and excitement.
Legolas hesitated a moment to gather his courage. Then he leaned forward and was about to touch his lips to Haldir's, when Haldir spoke in a spluttering whisper in the ancient tongue. "Don't do it, Legolas."
Legolas hesitated, then whispered, "It is alright . . . it won't be long-" His voice cut off abruptly as Sedog rapped him on the back of the head.
"I didn't say talk! I said kiss!"
"No, Legolas, don't-" Haldir cried out as his broken arm was twisted up behind him.
"Don't hurt him! Don't hurt him! I will do it, just stop hurting him!" Legolas pleaded. He approached Haldir slowly and placed a very neutral kiss on his mouth. The taste of blood made his stomach lurch, but he did not pull back. If he could keep this going for a little while longer . . .
Then he heard a sound he had never heard before, and it changed everything.
It was the sound of crying. It was the sound of Haldir crying.
Legolas drew back, his eyes growing wide with awe. He had never imagined that he would ever hear such a sound; the very idea had seemed preposterous. But here he was listening; it was a sound soft and desolate. There was a certain beauty and a certain horror in it. It was the sound that the lights of Telperion and Laurelin might have made. Legolas sat there, leaning back on his heels, dumbstruck, when suddenly, he found himself grabbed viciously by the shoulders and thrown aside.
"If you aren't going to do it right, I'll have to show you!" Sedog said, and in the next instant, he had Haldir's head fast in his grip. He closed his mouth over the guardian's as if to devour him. He was like a rabid animal, biting and clawing, lapping and spitting, completely immune to the sounds of anguish coming from his victim.
Legolas sprang to his feet, but he got no further before the men took him into their grasp. This time his struggles were so violent that one of the men dealt him a blow to the temple that sent him sagging in his captors' arms. When he raised his head, it was to see Sedog still running his foul mouth over Haldir's face and neck, but now he was also caressing his body, one hand sliding down over his hip.
And then suddenly, there was an arrow through Sedog's neck. The men holding Legolas lost their grips. They, too, fell with arrows in their bodies. Legolas glanced up to see at least a dozen elves taken up position around the cave entrance. He recognized the faces immediately. It was the patrol. Foremost among them was Ardamil. It had been his arrow that had killed Sedog, and now he stood firing off arrow after arrow, an expression of such rage and hatred in his face that Legolas almost did not recognize him.
The man who had been holding Haldir now tried to use him as a shield. Legolas lunged forward and jammed the heel of his hand into the man's nose. The man fell back, trading his grip on Haldir for his knife, which he drew to the ready. Legolas fell upon him. The man had no chance, for Legolas had been so blinded with a lust for vengeance that he attacked with wild abandon. He took a cut to the forearm as he grabbed the man's wrist in both hands, pummeling his arm against the ground until the blade dropped from his hand. Legolas snatched it up and dispatched the man with one blow to the chest.
From there, he crawled to where Haldir lay, pale and unmoving. He leaned protectively over him, keeping the knife clenched in bloodless fingers, and watching as the members of the Wide Patrol decimated the men in the cave.
It wasn't until the last man fell that Legolas turned his full attention to Haldir, lying silently in the likeness of death. A moment later, he was joined by Orophin, Rumil, and Maynfeln, the latter of whom dropped to his knees and quickly began checking Haldir's injuries.
"Haldir?" Rumil said softly, while Maynfeln ran his hands over Haldir's swollen, discolored abdomen. "Brother?"
"Roll him onto his side," Maynfeln said. "He is suffocating with blood."
Rumil and Orophin did as instructed. Maynfeln dug into his medic's kit and brought out a metal cup and a vial of crushed root. "Bring me water," he said without looking up.
Legolas reached out to take the cup, but behind him, Lostilsil leaned over and took the cup. "I will do it, Legolas," he said, giving him a squeeze on the shoulder.
Ardamil appeared then, kneeling down beside Maynfeln. His face was a mask of horror, his body rigid, his breathing vocal and tremulous. After several seconds, he glanced up at Legolas. "What happened?" he asked urgently.
"The mountainside collapsed," Legolas replied. "He was caught in it. He was too seriously injured to make it all the way back, so we took shelter here. He was in so much pain, and I couldn't leave him. I didn't know what to do." He sounded desperate and frightened. "I went out to see if I could spot you in the valley. And then the men came . . . and by the time I got back, it was . . . it was too late."
"Too late?" Ardamil asked.
Legolas opened his mouth to speak, but he was not sure he could say it. At last, he spoke in stilted syllables. "They had already hurt him. They were raping him."
Ardamil was silent, but Orophin and Rumil made sounds of anguish.
Maynfeln glanced up briefly at Legolas. "Are you sure?"
Legolas, who was barely holding his composure in tact, resented the question, which struck him as cold and thoughtless. "Of course, I'm sure. I watched them do it."
Maynfeln's voice, in contrast to Legolas's, was calm and professional. "How many?" he asked, as Lostilsil returned with the water. He poured the vial's contents into the water.
"Two, at least. I-I don't know how many had already . . . had already done it before I got here," Legolas replied.
"Did they hurt him anywhere else?" This was also from Maynfeln.
"I do not know."
Maynfeln wiped the blood from Haldir's mouth. "Roll him back." He tilted Haldir's head back and poured the liquid down his throat. "This should slow the bleeding and make it easier for him to breath." His voice was neutral, but he did not like what he was seeing; and he was sure that all the elves around him could see in his eyes the gravity of Haldir's injuries. "Roll him back on his side. It will take several minutes for the hulmis to begin working." He then turned his examination to Haldir's leg.
"How were you captured?" Orophin asked, although his full attention was on Haldir.
"I tried to stop them," Legolas replied. "Haldir told me to stay away, and I tried; but I couldn't-I couldn't watch them do those things to him and just stand there and do nothing! When I attacked, they threatened to kill him unless I . . . " He could not say it. "I was stalling for time. He has to know that!"
Ardamil reached out and put a comforting hand on Legolas's arm. "You did the right thing, Legolas. You may have saved his life." As he spoke, he noticed the blood on Legolas's arm. "You are injured!" He cast a glance back over his shoulder. "Ascalonn! Come and see to Legolas. He is injured."
But when Ascalonn tried to lead Legolas away, Legolas refused. "I left him once. I am not going to do it again."
"Legolas, we are here. Nothing more will happen to him. Go, just for a moment, just long enough for Ascalonn to take a look at you. Please . . . you can come back after that. There is not enough room or light here," Ardamil insisted.
Legolas went reluctantly, but his eyes never once left sight of Haldir. He watched as Ardamil stroked Haldir's temple.
Haldir stirred in a fit of coughing.
"Be at ease, Haldir," Ardamil's voice was soft and soothing. "You are among friends."
Haldir's eyes opened slowly. "Ardamil?"
"We are here," Ardamil replied, leaning over and kissing Haldir's cheek. "No further harm will come to you."
Haldir stared straight ahead with a dull expression for a long time, then suddenly, his manner grew agitated and fearful. "Legolas? Legolas?!"
"He is safe-"
"Where-is he? I want to see him! They were going to hurt him!" Haldir insisted.
Ardamil motioned to Ascalonn, but Legolas was already on his way over. He knelt down between Rumil and Orophin. "I am here, Haldir. Do not be concerned on my account. I am alright. I am unharmed," he said, wishing he might touch him somewhere, but unable to bring himself to do so.
Haldir's gaze wandered vaguely over Legolas's face, searching for the truth. "Ardamil?" His voice had more strength now, though still frail.
"Yes, Nikerym."
"Look after him," he ordered. "You must not let anything happen to him."
"He will be safe," Adramil assured him. "And now you must lie quietly- "
"Do not dismiss my concern," Haldir interrupted.
"You have never had to tell me twice to carry out your orders," Ardamil replied firmly.
"Give me-your word. . . " Haldir began, before a spasm of pain stopped him.
It was Legolas who answered anxiously. "Nothing will happen to me, Haldir. All the men are dead or have fled-"
Haldir ignored him. "Ardamil!"
"You will accept no oath, Haldir, so I can only give you my word. I say I shall protect him and I shall," Ardamil said, sounding more than a little flustered.
"Do not fail me," Haldir said, his voice growing frail again.
Maynfeln looked at Ardamil with a grave expression. "This must stop. He should not be talking and getting worked up. I can not tend him this way."
Ardamil nodded. He leaned over and whispered in Haldir's ear. "I will do whatever you ask, Haldir." He kissed his brow. "Legolas will be safe, dearest, dearest Nikerym." He kissed him again, this time on the temple.
Legolas observed Ardamil's heartfelt promise. Of all the assurances Ardamil could give, only this last one, this assurance of a duty borne out of love, had any effect. Haldir's face grew peaceful. His eyes closed, and he lost consciousness.
Site Info
We are the home of 1292 authors from among our 2553 members. There have been 2904 reviews written about our 3820 stories consisting of 10734 chapters and 29400445 words. A special welcome to our newest member, Lerina.Categories
Skin Change
Donate
Help us keep one of the oldest running LotR archives available to all. Even the smallest donation helps!
Many thanks to our previous donors!
Many thanks to our previous donors!
