Shall I compare thee to a wizard's staff?
Thou art more lengthy and more smooth and fast.
Rough wood a most unwelcome guest would be,
While you - so long and stiff and velvety.
Sometimes a carven rune could pull and sting:
Yet you - so broad and slick - most satisfying!
Your mushroom pulsates with a heavy load
My garden aches - it hungers to be hoed!
When escalating, mounting heated grind:
You "ooooh" and "aaaaah" and "uunnngghhh!" - we are entwined!
Never shall a wizard's staff know bliss;
Nor be sucked into a greedy kiss.
So long as men their adjectives abuse,
These silly sayings readers must excuse.
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