Sam woke slowly the next morning, warm underneath the blankets that covered him. He burrowed further down into the bed and sighed contentedly. He was only half awake, and he intended to remedy that after snuggling Frodo up closer against him. Sam reached his arms out to his side without opening his eyes, grabbing at the space next to him for that bundle of pale skin, chocolate hair, and incredible blue eyes. Not feeling the warm form immediately, he patted around, thinking that Frodo must have shifted somewhat in his sleep, as he was sometimes wont to do. However, after several moments of searching to no result, Sam slowly opened his eyes.
Frodo wasn't in the bed with him. A thrill of panic went through Sam as he shook himself fully awake. He ran his eyes across the room, searching for Frodo; his search ended at a chair that Frodo had moved over to Sam's side of the bed. Sam smiled shyly at Frodo, who smiled back just as coyly.
Then the pair of them simply looked at one another, Sam propped up on one elbow and Frodo in a thin, soft red robe and sitting cross-legged and gazing at him in his chair. Frodo's hair was frizzed and relatively flyaway, which made Sam grin. He reached out a hand and tucked back several strands of hair behind Frodo's ear. Frodo sighed at the slight touch.
"No finer way to wake up than to you, if you ask me, Mr. Frodo." Sam said lightly as he finally broke the quiet revere and sat up. Frodo's eyes gleamed. "I think the same about you, Sam." Neither one could hold back any longer. They moved together simultaneously. Frodo made a soft noise as their lips lightly touched that drove Sam to pulling Frodo against him and taking his lips almost thirstily. When they finally parted, Frodo was flushed and breathing a bit quicker than he had been, and Sam's lips were tingling. They were quiet for a few beats, and then Frodo lowered his hand from Sam's shoulder.
Sam leaned forward to kiss Frodo once more, but to his dismayed surprise his love maneuvered away. Sam looked at Frodo questioningly, but all he got in reply was Frodo gently capturing his hands. Sam saw Frodo swallow nervously and his heart was sent to thumping in his throat.
"Sam, I need......I need for us to talk. About this, about what's been going on." At those words, Sam's stomach suddenly became a heavy block of ice full of fluttering butterflies instead of a means of digestion. Frodo sensed this and brushed his thumb along Sam's closest cheek soothingly. This was terrifying, but he had to tell Sam how he really felt.
"I want for everything to be clear between us-established, if you will, before us......." Here, Frodo grew awkward, grasping for the right words. Sam sighed audibly, his heartbeat retreating back into his chest.
"Before we carry on, like, Frodo?" Sam saw only blinding, effervescent blue as Frodo shifted forward and caught Sam's eyes. "Say it again, Sam." Barely a whisper against Sam's nose. Sam raised his eyebrows wonderingly, his eyes locked with Frodo's.
"My name, Sam. My name."
"Oh. Frodo. Frodo, I......" But Frodo silenced him with a milky-colored finger at Sam's lips.
"Sam, I love you. I love you with.....everything that I am. My heart, my soul......my very being." Sam's heart skipped; he heard Frodo's breath hitch and knew the same had happened to him.
"Frodo, I love you too. Like that. You're all to me, and I-"
"Sam-let me finish?"" Frodo interjected with a small, patient smile. Sam reddened lightly and nodded.
"I love you Sam, as I said. I do, for there is nothing else for me to feel for you. You love me completely. Unconditionally. And no one has ever loved me like that, nor do I think any other ever will, and" Frodo swallowed the lump that had been forming in his throat. Sam squeezed his hands in support, hardly able to comprehend what was going on. "You sacrificed your life as you knew it to follow me and support me, nearly at the cost of you own life more than once. And for no other reason, I'm sure, besides that you cared for me. You risked everything to be with me to the very end, and-" Frodo's throat caught.
He gulped hard and rubbed the tears that were forming in his eyes away, breaking the contact between he and Sam for a moment, before continuing. Sam was utterly still and silent. He was completely and joyously spellbound. "-and I would have died months ago if it hadn't been for you-and your love for me. I came so close to dying, and-" Tears began to slip down Frodo's cheeks in silvery streams. Sam had tears in his eyes as well as he pulled Frodo into a tight embrace. There was no sound save for muffled sobs and quiet murmurs as the two held each other for several long minutes. Then Sam finally kissed the top of Frodo's head, delighting in the feel and smell of Frodo's silky hair, and Frodo gave Sam a squeeze and moved away. Before Frodo could say anything, though, Sam spoke.
"You didn't die, Frodo. I've got you, right here and now and you'll always be safe."
"Sam......" Frodo interrupted, a pained and somehow bittersweet expression stealing across his face. "I did die." Bitterness crept into Frodo's voice. "Not physically. But...in my mind." Frodo looked down at his lap, where his nine fingers were compulsively tugging at the sleeves of his shirt. Sam felt a sort of constriction on his heart and throat as he saw how difficult this was for Frodo. He tried to process and wrap his head around what Frodo was saying. He stilled Frodo's fingers by placing his hands over Frodo's. Sam wanted nothing more than to pull Frodo to him once more and let his mouth and hands extricate the pain from inside his beloved. He had been robbed of so much, and Sam resolved then and there that he would give his all to returning it to him. However, Sam knew instinctively that this was the time for just talking.
"I don't feel anything anymore, Sam. The ring-it-it took everything me that made me who I was. All of it-save for one thing." Frodo set his eyes upon Sam in a way that made Sam's heart shatter and soar in the same moment. In them lie such suffering, love, hope, and loneliness....
"When I'm with you, I feel safe. Cherished. Loved." At this, Sam had to speak.
"That you are, me dear. That you are. Always have been, and will be as long as I'm alive. No matter what. Come what may. Never doubt it. I'm not much for words, but...." A ragged sob escaped from Frodo.
"I shan't doubt it, Sam!" Though tears were now slipping down his face again, a radiant smile lit Frodo's face. "When I'm with you, Sam, I feel like I might be able to live again." Frodo took Sam's hand in his and brought it to his cheek. "Bring me to life, Sam?" Sam gave a soft, breathy laugh that seemed to say, 'Need you even ask?'.
"Now, I thought we'd decided that we'd finished with this. That we'd done more than our fair bit of crying. Seems like we've made a habit of it, though. Look at us, carryin' on like a pair of lasses." He raised an eyebrow at Frodo. "Can you think of any sort of way to put a stop to it?" Frodo grinned widely and pulled Sam to him in response.
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