Terrance gave a soft sigh, Erestor had refused to speak to him and eventually had emotionally exhausted himself...he didn't expect Erestor to bare his soul to him, although he was pleased that Erestor had taken comfort in his arms, they knew very little about one another but it was somewhat comforting to Terrance that Erestor was able to trust him enough to at least accept his sympathy. Erestor had fallen asleep in his lap and Terrance was content in stroking his hair comfortingly, which had actually seemed to calm the elf in his arms somewhat and allow him to sleep.
Terrance wished he knew more of the situation between the elf in his arms, and the one that Thranduil had developed such a relationship with. Terrance had to admit that although Glorfindel seemed to be only interested in Thranduil's body at first, he had changed over time and Terrance trusted him enough to treat his Taurelasse with care. However, what had he done to this one? He had only wished for Thranduil's happiness, that was all he ever really wanted for Thranduil...it being all he ever could wish...for it was his duty to protect him, even from loneliness, even if that meant that he had to step aside.
Terrance looked at the sleeping elf in his lap, he reminded Terrance of Thranduil somewhat, not in appearance mind you, the two were polar opposites of one another in that aspect...but their demeanor was alike somewhat, quite and somewhat reserved although they were so vibrant at the same time, they both shown with such a brilliant light none could ignore it. But their sadness was never slight or minute, it would seem that their tears could drench a desert with no hope of relief...he prayed he could ease this pain if not heal it, he would do all he could to help this elf, it was after all Erestor in his lap and not Thranduil.
Although Terrance would have held Erestor the rest of the day and night, if need be, the dark elf stirred awake after a few hours. It took Erestor a moment to fully wake but he soon remembered everything that happened and felt as if he would cry again. He knew he had no right to hate Glorfindel but he couldn't seem to stop himself from doing so anyway. Although Glorfindel's words cut into him like a knife...Glorfindel was right, if Erestor had merely trusted Glorfindel given him a chance everything between them would be different, but there was no hope for that now.
"Are we feeling better then?" Terrance's voice broke Erestor from his thoughts and he stared into the concerned face of his new found friend. Terrance had stayed with him all this time? Even when he fell asleep he stayed by his side?
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have cried like I did...I really have no right to feel these things, it all happened so long ago and yet it still hurts so much, I'm sure it must be confusing to you..." Erestor said lowering his head.
Terrance gave a soft smile to him. "I understand better than you think, I love my Teralusse more than you can possibly know...but he thinks of me as a friend and only a friend...we are not meant to be more than that." Terrance paused. "Even though I thought those feelings to be long since dead...seeing him with the other...it hurt, it hurt so much that I couldn't even stand to be near him, I understand your position, he hurt you but that is not cause to strike at him." Terrance paused. "I would never hurt my Teralusse, even if it would make me feel better." Terrance said.
"I don't know why I act the way I do...I don't want to hurt him but I can't seem to stop myself, he makes me so angry and I'm not even sure why." Erestor said. "And seeing him with another, which hurts me more than anything else because I could never trust him enough to take that step...your friend has something now that I can never have, but if I had trusted him...it would have been possible." Erestor said.
"Do you really want him that badly?" Terrance asked "Is having him that important to you?"
Erestor looked at Terrance a strange expression on his face. "...no...isn't that the dumbest thing? I don't want him to be my lover, but for some reason I'm still angry that he is not...I'm not mad at your friend I'm angry at myself I think." He said.
Terrance looked into those black eyes of his new found companion, he was so complicated yet he had a certain simplicity to himself as well. "You don't trust people easily I take it." Terrance said looking at Erestor. "You will only trust another if they earn it, and he never did quite earned that trust am I right?" he asked already knowing the answer. "Evaluate this situation, you had no reason to trust him, he had never given you one for that matter, but it was you who refused to take a leap of faith and see if you landed on your feet or not." Terrance paused. "I took a great risk in telling Teralusse that I still loved him, and it did not turn out as I had hoped but I am still glad I tried, instead of harboring a feeling that would no doubt eat me up on the inside." Terrance frowned. "Did you love him? Did he ever know that you loved him even...if I was him I would think that you never felt anything but hate, even more so with your mannerism." Terrance said.
"That's not it though, I don't hate him at all...and a part of me probably loves him." Erestor said.
"Does he know this?" Terrance asked. "If he doesn't it might do you well to tell him this, not to win his heart, but possibly his friendship, that's a good start for any type of relationship." Terrance said.
When Thranduil awoke the next morning he was wrapped in Glorfindel's arms, the two stayed up late with one another simply enjoying one another's company but Thranduil had always been one to wake with the sun, it was from years of routine and being the King of Mirkwood he had become used to staying up late into the night and waking early in the morning his body was accustomed to this. He thought that Glorfindel, being a warrior, would be the same but he seemed more likely to sleep in. Thranduil smiled and kissed Glorfindel's temple softly before slipping from his arms and getting dressed. He wanted to seek out Elrond, he was not seeking him out to ask for Glorfindel's release, in all honesty Thranduil didn't wish for that, Glorfindel had worked all his life for that position and it was not so easily given up, it was a large sacrifice and while it made Thranduil happy that Glorfindel would make such a sacrifice it was simply too much and he couldn't accept that with grace. He knew how important Elrond's family was to Glorfindel, they were like his own he had watched over Elrond and his family for so long he was a part of it and Thranduil would never sacrifice his own family so he would not ask Glorfindel to do the same...no matter how much he loved Glorfindel.
Thranduil made his way down his talan ladder and began to walk along the outskirts of the forest. He remembered that Elrond mentioned being somewhat reclusive during the ceremony, he kept to himself and silent meditation; it was a large forest so Thranduil didn't expect to stumble across him so he simply enjoyed the quite forest listening intently to the sounds of the forest as it slowly woke up to a new day.
Surprisingly enough though he did see Elrond, he was bathing in one of the springs that littered the forest as he approached it slowly, he didn't want to disturb Elrond and make him feel uncomfortable with his presences.
"My Lord?" Thranduil said bringing his presence to attention so not to startle Elrond.
Elrond smiled at seeing Thranduil. "I haven't seen you since we last spoke." He said "Please join me." He said. "I've been meaning to seek you out again I wanted to speak with you." Elrond said. "Unless this setting makes you uncomfortable." Elrond said. He knew Thranduil was somewhat shy, specifically concerning his outward appearance, although he had no reason to be.
"Not at all." Thranduil said as he removed his robe and folded his clothes neatly a bit away from the spring, he didn't bring an extra set of clothes with him so he would be reusing them. He noticed Elrond staring at him as he slipped into the water but wasn't sure what the look meant. "What?" He asked innocently.
Elrond just shook his head with a slight smile "Nothing it's just...you've changed, even though you were not a child during the alliance it's almost as if I'm seeing you fully grown for the first time. You seem more confident so very sure of yourself than you ever have before." Elrond said.
"Looks can be deceiving; I feel as if I'm still fumbling through life without any type of direction or thought as to where I am going...although that doesn't scare me like it used to, I look forward to each day I have been blessed with...and here I can begin every day without worry or fear, I hope I can return home with the same mind set." Thranduil said noticing the same look Elrond had given him earlier upon his face.
Elrond felt slightly guilty for so obviously staring at Thranduil, Thranduil was like a son to him yet he couldn't help but admire that sculpted body bared to him. It shouldn't have but it made him tremble and crave to touch him, but that was a barrier he wouldn't cross. It was foolish to even entertain the possibility for they were both Kings of separate realms and the entire situation screamed scandal in Elrond's mind. He could easily admire him from a distance without any harm. Not to mention Thranduil had placed a great deal of trust and protective pressure on Elrond, even if it was unintentional Elrond still felt somewhat responsible for Thranduil's well being...even if Thranduil no longer needed Elrond to act like a substitute for his father, it was Elrond wasn't ready to let go just yet. Thranduil had matured so much over the years it was just like watching his own children grow and mature.
"You have changed though, you are far more mature and wise than you were...I'm glad you have taken control of your life and responsibilities, I'm proud of you." Elrond said.
Thranduil smiled. "I couldn't have changed that much." Thranduil said tilting his head to the side as he stared back into Elrond's eyes for a moment. "Like you said I wasn't a child then, and I do appreciate everything you've done for me, your guidance proved invaluable...although it's different now isn't it? It's not that I don't appreciate your words of wisdom, but I think I no longer am in need of them." He said.
Elrond moved a bit closer to Thranduil. "Maybe sometime I can come to you for advice." He said with a smile.
Thranduil smiled. "I'd like that sometime." He paused. "Now, you said you were going to seek me out I was curious as to why." He said.
"Ah, last we spoke you mentioned a friend, possibly more, I wanted to know how that was going for you." He asked intently curious about any propositions Thranduil may have been offered.
"Yes...more than a friend we've grown considerably closer since you and I last spoke." Thranduil said.
Elrond smiled. "That's wonderful for you, have you revealed yourself to one another?" Elrond said he knew Thranduil would not have mentioned this to him unless he was serious about the other.
"Well honestly that's part of our problem, we want to stay together but with me being King of Mirkwood it will prove difficult..." Thranduil paused for a moment. "Your Seneschal Glorfindel is the one that I have developed a relationship with." Thranduil said.
Elrond shook his head a moment as if trying to clear it. While Glorfindel was trustworthy, a formidable warrior and friend he wasn't so sure about his suitability to be Thranduil's lover...Glorfindel was quite promiscuous and...well, Thranduil was better than that. "Glorfindel...I'm not so sure you understand what type of elf he is Thranduil, I know him very well and he has never kept a partner for long." Elrond said.
"I know all that, you are not the first to warn me of him, you should know that I am no fool, do you honestly think I would involve myself with him, with anyone, who was only after one thing to begin with? He has changed Elrond, he wishes to be with me as I wish to be with him our feelings are mutual and...I love him Elrond." Thranduil said. "I do not have to prove to you his loyalty in this...although I do have a favor to ask. He said to me that he will request you release him from his oath...I am asking that you deny this request." Thranduil said.
Elrond looked at Thranduil a moment in shock. "Deny him? But if I allow him to leave my side the two of you can be together, I thought you said your love was mutual." He said.
"It is...I love him very much, but that is why I cannot allow him to lose everything he has lived for until now, he would throw away everything for me and I cannot allow him to do that, it's too much." Thranduil said. "You are his family Elrond and I will not ask him to sacrifice his family for mine, it's wrong and I would feel terrible if he did that."
Elrond smiled sympathetically at Thranduil. "You two are facing a very difficult road Thranduil, love is sacrifice as I'm sure you know, if he wants to do this I'm not so sure I can deny him...why not simply let him make this sacrifice?"
"Then what I am to sacrifice in return? I cannot leave my post as he can, my freedom is severely limited compared to most...you know better than anyone that what speak is true, I don't want to be without him but I will not ask him of something that I cannot do in return, regardless of being apart I am sure we can still work." Thranduil said.
Elrond embraced Thranduil gently. "Besides telling me to deny Glorfindel's request, why did you come to see me?" He asked.
"I will request your blessing." Thranduil said. "As juvenile as it sounds I want your approval in this." Thranduil said. "I know I don't need it, I need no one's honestly but I want it nonetheless."
Elrond took a deep breath. "You have my blessing Thranduil and my approval...however if Glorfindel does request a release I am not sure if I can deny him, he has never asked anything of me before and I'm not sure he will understand." Elrond said.
"Maybe not, however I do plan to speak with him before he comes to you; he was still sleeping when I left the talan." Thranduil said simply.
Elrond couldn't help but smile. "Exhausted him well I take it." He chided.
"And wouldn't we like to know?" He joked right back at Elrond.
Elrond flicked water in Thranduil direction. As innocent as the joke was Elrond had to try and suppress the urge to image Thranduil squirming underneath him swollen and yearning...begging Elrond to take him, he probably had the most beautiful voice when he begged, his skin flushed, a slight sheen of sweat slickening his frame...Elrond gave an audible gasp as he pulled himself away from Thranduil and turned his back to him. 'What the hell am I thinking!? How could I possibly be thinking such things! He is like a son to me!' Elrond said mentally screaming at himself.
The gasp concerned Thranduil, and when Elrond turned away from him it concerned him even more. "My Lord?" Thranduil asked placing a gentle hand on Elrond's shoulder that actually flinched from the touch. Thranduil drew his hand back quickly, "What is wrong?" He asked now genuinely concerned.
"Nothing..." Elrond shook his head as the remembrance of how soft Thranduil's skin felt against this own flooded his mind...why couldn't he keep his thoughts straight?! The familiar heat of lust began to run through his body and rushed between his legs, he had to leave, and he couldn't be near Thranduil behaving the way he was...even if Thranduil didn't know what he was thinking it still filled Elrond with shame. "I'm sorry Thranduil but I must go." He said lifting himself from the water and quickly pulling his robe over his form praying Thranduil did not notice how aroused he was.
Elrond hated himself for leaving Thranduil so abruptly, he looked so concerned, oh if he only knew what Elrond was thinking! He would be disgusted and he would never trust him again. Elrond closed the curtain to the door of his talan as he tried to quell the images that flew through his mind. But he couldn't seem to think of anything else but that taunt and glistening body in the water next to him but a few moments ago.
"By the Valar..." Elrond said as he sat upon his bed as he slowly opened his robe. "What is wrong with me...?" He said as he grasped his growing erection unable to help himself.
He began to slowly stroke himself, squeezing tightly at the base and allowing his fingers to press against the slit as the lustful liquid began to seep from his now weeping arousal. He smeared the fluid across his length it felt so good to touch himself like this, under normal circumstances he would never do anything so deprived but he wanted this so desperately he couldn't stop himself, more importantly he didn't want to stop.
Elrond began to stroke himself faster and he allowed himself to become lost in the sensation as he closed his eyes and felt he would sob as he imaged Thranduil's naked body, his soft skin against his own, the sweet smell of his hair, those perfect lips enveloping his arousal...lapis blue eyes staring up at him as he pleasured him with adapt devotion and eagerness. It was all so terribly erroneous, but it only made him move faster upon himself. The more he thought of Thranduil the more he wanted him, craved him even and he wasn't even sure why.
His imagining climbed to new lengths as he pictured Thranduil beneath him moaning and writhing in ecstasy all the while screaming Elrond's name over and over. He held that beautiful body close to his own in an almost crushing embrace and plundered Thranduil's mouth like a starving animal bruising those delicate petal lips leaving marks upon that milk-like skin his golden hair splayed across the floor like honey spilled around him. Elrond didn't want to be tender with him, he wanted to ravage him, spoil this forbidden fruit like no other could for he was the father figure to Thranduil, no other had this line to cross but Elrond did and he wanted to cross this bridge and burn it once he was passed.
He imaged holding down that lithe body and driving his length into him with one fluid motion making the said elf scream, whether in pleasure or pain it didn't seem to matter. He fit to this elf perfectly as if Thranduil's body was made specifically for pleasuring him, and as the youthful king squirmed and twisted under him Elrond knew he had the power to bring this elf to the brink of insanity and back...he wanted them both to go insane. As Elrond fisted his straining and weeping cock he felt himself getting so close and there was nothing he could do now, in being so close, to stop himself from imagining having Thranduil in any way he wished, in his mind he could do anything he wanted to him and he did, everything he ever wanted no matter how deprived or terrible he let loose everything upon Thranduil.
Elrond could feel his body tighten and he knew he was close as he squeezed almost cruelly upon himself and he bit the back of his hand to keep himself from screaming too loudly as he violently released, a blinding light exploding before his eyes the force causing his entire body to spasm, spilling himself over his hand and the talan floor before falling limply backward on the bed breathing heavily while moaning riding the waves of his orgasm in pure absolute pleasure...but when the waves ceased he felt nothing but shame and guilt.
How could he have thought of Thranduil in such a way? He was Thranduil's trusted friend and had been like a father to him ever since the last alliance...he could chalk this all up to simple lust but if that were the case wouldn't he have felt something prior to this before? He never had thought of Thranduil in a sexual way before today...he was glorious and so beautiful now, more so than ever before, but why? It was so frustrating to be so attracted to someone and yet sickened with yourself for feeling attracted in the first place, and Thranduil...no doubt he would be disgusted with Elrond if he ever found out, not to mention Glorfindel, Thranduil expressed such love for Glorfindel and Elrond couldn't destroy that. He curled upon his bed shaking his head at himself, what was he supposed to do now?
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Chapter end notes: [Taurelasse] - Forest Leaf
Author Note: As said before my computer crashed and I lost most of my files this fiction being among the lost so I'm sorry for the late update, I originally didn't plan on Elrond feeling anything for Thranduil, but for some reason it just played out like this anyway :P well I hope you enjoy check out my other fic "Three Passions, One Love"
-Nerwen
