I can see it. Dawn will come. And the blood will be washed away by the warm brilliant rays of the sun. It will shine bright and true and show through the clearer. The light will drown out all the darkness that covers our world. Evil that purges through the mists and rapes our innocence. We shall free those troubled, possessed minds and set lose the joy. We'll charge across the land with our heads held high and our voices singing. Let them pass through the air like the glistening of sunlight on the smooth surface of waves and pierce the night and break it's heart. One day soon we'll be free. We'll stand tall and shout and curse the name of evil with hard bitterness. Break the chains, we will, and ride out and meet fate head on and smite it's face and laugh. They'll bury themselves under our gaze. And the world will smile once again and cry tears of joy when we all come together and reunite. All together. All smiling, laughing, crying. Embracing each other with profound love. All alive... and the world will survive.
But that thought abruptly ends as I awake. This cruel reoccurring dream haunts my nighttime visions. I open my eyes and my face is drenched in tears. I wipe away the salty liquids as I do the dream that seems to fade into nothing. Like it once was. What it used to be and will never be again. What it could be.
This world will end. I'm not as optimistic as Sam. I can sense Frodo fading and how he manages to stay strong for him, I'll never figure out. I'll never feel that sense of hope. The mere glimmer will never reach my eyes. The only thing I've got left is Pippin. My little dear Pip. We'll never see the Shire again. We'll never run about and get ourselves into childish mischief. I'll never feel that cool green grass brush against the bottom of my feet. I long to have the wind rush against my features and my curly hair go wild in it's embrace. I want to look into his eyes once more and see that smile and run with him through the great land we called home. I took it for granted, never looking around and saying goodbye to it. Never thought it'd be the last time I saw it. We saw it.
Dear God, I see no hope. I saw Galadriel's words as poisonous lullabies to my ears. I have no idea of what's to come. But I do know of what will never happen. Not only will the world fall, but he'll never know how much I love him.
Family or no family, gender or no gender, love knows nothing. Love is uneducated in the ways of society. Love doesn't exist in those terms. It has it's own. And no matter what anyone says, love can never be stopped or overruled. And I'll never stop loving Pippin. Until the day we are cast down into the fiery pits of Mordor or slain at the hand of Saruman himself. Whether we travel to the Halls or we disappear into a dark oblivion, love holds me to him. It is the only thing I am completely sure of. For certain. I lean down and kiss his cheek. His sleeping form heavenly glowing in the garish moonlight. Sometimes I think the moon itself cried for him and the tears fell like rain upon his being and magnified every feature. Each one the epitome of beauty. Every part of the body emanating perfection. His eyes like diamonds on a porcelain plate. His wavy hair like golden waves of a far distant ocean. The blushing skin, like smooth sand that flows with the rhythm of a path, leading to an unknown world. Slender fingers that protect hands bathed in silk. Lips, a shy pilgrim couple, seem to be woven in satin. The doors to breath, the keeper of words never to be spoken, secrets, dreams. Lips that hold the key to the love he buries deep inside his soul. Kisses that will never drown with my own.
"Merry?"
Hazy swirls of the clearest, purest blue. Only slit, they look to mine and the words I long to utter are caught in my throat. As if forbidden. Clammy fingertips hush the grace of sounds from those pink, glistening pilgrims and I must fight these dreaded tears that threaten to rain out my reality.
"Sleep now, my little Pip."
With a small smile your eyes flutter closed and the regal hand that was resting on my shoulder has now returned to it's place beside you. Where mine should be as well. Protecting you as I've always done. And continue on. I softly lay my head on top of the leaves that make our 'bed' for tonight after covering you more with your Elven cloak. Stroke your face with my rugged hand, embarrassingly next to your flawlessness. One last kiss upon your brow and my goodnight words travel towards your assumingly now dreamily deaf ears.
"Goodnight, my love."
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