There was still no word from Aragorn in the months that followed, and no reappearance of the mysterious stranger. But Legolas had recovered enough in his body to leave his chambers and ride outdoors again. The fresh air seemed to revive him more than any potion or tincture, and soon there was colour in his cheeks once more. But with his new-found vigour, he began to keep a closer eye than ever on his son, and it became ever more a burden on his mind. He had always worried about Anarion, for he knew only too well the nature of his true father. Every time he watched the little boy play, or eat, or sit at his lessons, he seemed to be looking for signs of the malevolence that might sleep in his soul. So far, he reassured himself that his beloved son was all that was good and kind. But sometimes, a stubborn, headstrong nature emerged in the boy, and he could not help but notice how strong and large he was becoming. Legolas did not know if he was only imagining things in his fixation. But there was no doubt that Anarion was growing ever more boisterous, and his ada saw with apprehension how eager he was to win at his games, so much so that he would even knock over the smaller children in his excitement. The elf tried to tell himself that there was no malice in the child's behaviour. Anarion was disobedient, and mischevious at times, but never cruel. Yet he still woke in the dead of night with a cold sweat on his face, wondering whether he might grow to be just like his father.
No, he would say to himself, and look at the boy beside him, peacefully asleep. That will never happen. He is such a good son.
But he is only a child still, said a small voice in his head. He is not yet a man.
One afternoon, he took Anarion with him to visit Faramir and Eowyn in Ithilien. It had been the child's idea - he had been clamouring to visit his two cousins. As the eldest, he was idolised by Faramir's son and daughter, and they rushed to see him as soon as he arrived.
"Be careful, Anarion," chastised Legolas, as his son picked up Faramir's tiny, fair haired girl and swung her around in delight. "Remember, she is only a baby. No rough games, do you understand?"
"Yes, ada," promised Anarion, and the three of them went off to go hunting around the house.
"And how are you, Legolas?" asked Eowyn, when they had sat down later to refreshments.
"Better, thank you."
Eowyn sat beside him and put her hand on his shoulder.
"You are looking well, thank Elbereth. We were so worried about you."
He nodded, and then suddenly his head fell into his hands. Eowyn put her arm around him.
"Oh, Legolas. It has been hard on you. I am so sorry about your child."
He shook his head. "It has been eating away at me," he whispered. "I don't know what to do."
"It will take time," said Faramir softly. "The wounds are still raw."
"It is more than that. Faramir, I have said some terrible things to my husband, and I regret them so much. There is a gulf between us that we cannot breach. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he will not share his grief with me, lest it make him look weak - and it is the same for me."
Faramir nodded gravely. "I know that there have been difficulties for you. He has spoken to me of them."
"Why, what has happened?" asked Eowyn. "What did you say to him?"
"I told him that I was unhappy, living here with him. I believe I made him feel that he had failed to be a good enough husband."
Faramir looked at him.
"And are you unhappy, Legolas?" he asked at last.
"Sometimes," admitted the elf quietly. "But it is not his fault." He could not fully explain to them why he succumbed at times to bouts of melancholy and despair - he could not reveal to them how he had been raped, and how Anarion had been born as a consequence. It seemed strange to him, that Anarion was the living proof of all the hurt and anguish that sapped away at his happiness with Boromir, and at the same time, he was the only thing that held them together. "I do love Boromir, very dearly," he said, "but I fear at times that our marriage will not survive. There is too much of a strain on us."
"I know you love him, Legolas, and he loves you as well, do not doubt it. You did not know him as a youth, as I did - he was reckless and selfish. But since he married you, he has changed. He wants nothing but the best for you and Anarion. Please, Legolas, go back and talk to him. Whatever mistakes he has made, he can put them right."
"I wil not abandon him., Faramir, for our son's sake. But I do not think we can be happy together. It was too much of a hope, that things would work out, coming from such different worlds as we do." He looked sadly at his brother-in-law. "I did not want it to end this way, but it has."
Eowyn shook her head. "You are wrong," she said. "You judge too hastily. By rights, you think, you should have been married to an elven king. By rights, you should be living as a prince among your own people. This is what you think, do you not?" she asked. Legolas was surprised at her words, for she had guessed near the truth. Many nights he spent awake, wondering whether he had made the wrong decision on the night of his son's birth, and whether he had chosen the right path in the turmoil of his mind.
"You should forget those fears and those thoughts. They will destroy you. Look at the man you love, and open your heart to him. Do not clutch at dreams, at false imaginings of what might have been."
"But how can I not?" cried the elf. "This was not the destiny I was born to. I was not supposed to become consort to a human, or take a mortal life, or leave my homeland. I was not supposed to be called a whore by men whose worth falls far below my own. I was not supposed to lose my child, and have little hope of ever having another."
Eowyn took his hand.
"Whether it was destined or not, this is the path your life has taken. And I have learned myself that despairing of your life as not what it was supposed to be brings no happiness to anyone. It is so easy to want what we do not have. If I had held on to the hopes I possessed - and my husband will forgive me for saying so - I would still be yearning to be Queen on the throne of Gondor. But it was a false hope. I do not think of it now, for it would have made me resentful and bitter. I look at what I have instead, and I realise how happy and blessed I am with my own family."
This silenced Legolas. He looked out of the window, and saw that it had become dark.
"Come, Anarion," he called. "We must be getting home now."
"Already?" said the child, wandering back into the room. "Can't we stay a bit longer?"
"No, it is getting very late. Say goodbye to your aunt and uncle."
He did so, and Legolas also took his leave, hugging them tightly.
"Thankyou," he said to them under his breath. "Take care, now. Come visit us soon." They nodded, and kissed their nephew once more.
He was lost in thought as he rode back with Anarion sat in front of him. By the time they arrived at home, his son was already asleep, and he tucked him up carefully in bed. When he came down again, the candlelight was burning in Boromir's office. His husband was at his desk, and turned and looked at him in surprise.
"Are you still working?" said Legolas.
"Yes. Where have you been?"
"I was in Ithilien."
"Oh. Is everyone well?"
"Yes, very well. I thought I would just go and visit. Anarion wanted to see his cousins."
"Oh, I see. Is he asleep?"
"Yes, he is in bed."
Boromir paused, awkwardly. He picked up his quill again.
"Well, I have some reports to finish. Have you eaten? There is food in the kitchen, if you like."
Legolas did not reply. He hovered by the door, unsure of whether to stay or leave. There was silence for a few moments.
"I think I will retire as well," said Legolas at last. He turned to go. But Boromir cried out suddenly and stopped him.
"Legolas, my love," he said, his voice full of hurt. "I cannot bear this coldness between us. It is killing me. Please, sit down and talk with me at least."
The elf approached him, but his hand was at his mouth and he shook his head.
"We can be happy together, I know we can," implored Boromir. "Please. You must give it a chance, that's all. That is all I ask."
To his astonishment, Legolas sank to his knees and laid his head down in his lap, weeping.
"Please, forgive me for being so ungrateful my Lord," he sobbed. "I have been so foolish, to think I missed something when it was right before my eyes." He looked up at Boromir and covered his face with soft kisses.
"I could not live without you," he whispered. "Can you leave behind our troubles, and let me love you and honour you as I should have done from the beginning?"
Boromir looked at the sorrow and regret in his wide green eyes. To his surprise, his own eyes were softened with tears.
"Do not cry now - you have suffered enough And there is nothing for me to forgive." He bent down and kissed the top of the elf's head. "I am a very lucky man to have you as my husband, and I could ask for nothing more."
He too, knelt down on the floor and cupped the elf's chin in his hands.
"I love you very much, Legolas. I hope you know that."
"I do," he whispered. "You are all the world to me." They sat holding each other for a while, rocking gently back and forth. Finally, Legolas dried his eyes and they rose to their feet. The elf brought Boromir's head down towards his own and kissed his lips lovingly. The man had him in a tight embrace, and lifted him into his arms, kissing him passionately all the while. Then he carried him to their bed, and laid him there, and draped himself over him.
Legolas found great pleasure in the sensation of his husband's heavy body lying on him. As they loosed their clothes, he eased his position so that Boromir could mount him. They made love as if they were hungry for each other, and then Legolas sank against his husband's side, glistening with perspiration. Boromir stroked his hair fondly.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered. "Like an angel."
Legolas put his golden head on Boromir's broad chest.
"I love you," he said softly. "Hold me."
They drew up the covers, and fell asleep in each other's arms.
Site Info
We are the home of 1292 authors from among our 2553 members. There have been 2904 reviews written about our 3820 stories consisting of 10734 chapters and 29400445 words. A special welcome to our newest member, Lerina.Categories
Skin Change
Donate
Help us keep one of the oldest running LotR archives available to all. Even the smallest donation helps!
Many thanks to our previous donors!
Many thanks to our previous donors!
