As the group left the dinner table and was heading down the corridor, Persifilla had gently lain a hand on Merry's arm. "May I speak to you... privately?" she requested. "I would go to Mr. Baggins, but I confess he rather frightens me."
Merry consented, and he and the lady went into one of the little sitting-rooms along the corridor between the dining hall and the parlor. "What are you afraid Frodo will find out, Mrs. Took?" he asked her in a teasing tone.
Persifilla regarded him with her soft brown eyes open innocently wide. "But there's nothing for him to find out as far as I'm concerned."
"Not even about you and Hilbarus?"
"Oh, I don't mind him knowing about that, even if the rest of the family does. It wasn't my fault. A girl can't help a boy being silly about her, can she? And if he persists after she's chosen someone else- Well," Persifilla heaved an exaggerated sigh, "that's even more silly of him. Hil is a sweet lad, and I'm sorry for the trouble he's caused today, but it's nothing to do with me. Nothing at all. And nothing of interest to this investigation of yours."
"Then what did you want to talk about?" asked Merry.
Big brown eyes gazed up at him appealingly. "Tell me, Master Meriadoc--may I call you Merry?"
"Of course."
"Merry, please, tell me: does Mr. Baggins suspect my husband?"
"Your husband?"
"Oh, I know what terrible things you must've heard about me and Ulfidius from Isigo and that awful Diantha, and goodness knows what Hil and his father have said. It's true that our match was arranged and we wed without loving each other, but you mustn't think that means I'm not fond of him. After all, we've known each other since we were children."
As far as Merry knew, Frodo did not suspect Ulfidius, but he began to wonder if maybe he ought to.
"I've been so worried that Mr. Baggins would stop considering Lady Iris as the poisoner, as all the family says she must be, and begin to look at other people. Ulfidius is the next in line to be Thain after his father, you see," Persifilla explained. "Wouldn't that make him someone with a... how do you detectives say it? Motivation for murder?"
Merry felt somewhat bemused by having these feminine wiles thrown at him, but it was all to no effect. As Persifilla went on, he believed in the sincerity what she was saying less and less. She wasn't worried for her husband at all, nor was she truly afraid that Frodo thought Ulfidius had poisoned the Thain. Although she wasn't speaking of herself as openly as she had at tea-time, this conversation was still all about her. But what was her purpose? Was she trying to make Frodo suspect Ulfidius for some reason, or was she trying to deflect attention from herself after the old story about her and Hilbarus had come out?
"You've no need to worry," he told her. "Frodo will consider all possibilities, and won't make a mistake. He's really very good at this kind of thing, you know. I'll tell him what you've said, if you like."
"Will you?" She smiled. "And he'll understand?"
"I'm sure he will." Better than Merry did himself, he was sure.
"What a dear boy you are!" Her hand was again on his arm, and she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I find it hard to believe that nobody's caught you yet. If I may say so, Merry, you're quite a good-looking boy and very funny too. A girl likes a boy who can make her laugh. I understand that, aside from our Thain and the South-Thain, you're the most highly-ranked and wealthiest hobbit in the whole Shire!"
Merry modestly acknowledged that this was so.
"It's odd that none of you investigators are spoken for, except for Shirriff Gamgee," Persifilla observed. "Very strange, for so many eligible young lads. Is it because of your work? Such a life full of adventures as yours must be agony for a wife to endure, always wondering what terrible things might happen to you. But I'm sure you'll all marry one day. It's the duty of all well-born gentle-hobbits to marry as best they can. Your friend Peregrin will be matched off with Diamond... or perhaps it will be Diantha he marries in the end? She isn't a very nice young lady, but he seems to like her better."
The last thing Merry wanted to discuss was Pippin's liking Diantha. "What about Frodo?" he asked. "He's a handsome boy, don't you think so?"
"I suppose he is," Persifilla answered without enthusiasm, "but he's so clever and, well, intense. That way he has of asking questions, as if he already knows the answers! I'm sure he isn't at all gallant. A girl who wasn't as clever as he is would find him intimidating. The whole family is afraid of him, except for Granduncle Brabantius, and he's become alarming himself."
The door to the little room opened a crack, and Ulfidius looked in. He didn't seem surprised to find his wife sitting alone with Merry. "I beg your pardon, my dear," he said. "Am I interrupting?"
"No," said Persifilla, rising from the sofa. "We've finished our conversation. Will you excuse me, dearest? I'm sure the other ladies have missed me in the drawing room and must wonder where I've gone."
"I'm certain they've guessed," said Ulfidius dryly as his wife went out.
"Nothing happened for you to be worried about," Merry tried to reassure him once Persifilla had left. "Your wife only wanted me to convey a message to Frodo."
"Oh, I'm not worried," Ulfidius replied. "I know that whatever you're up to, it's all for your investigation. You have to talk to everyone. But Persi can have nothing important to tell you about Grandfather's wine. She knows nothing about it. I only hope she hasn't said anything too foolish. As to the other, I'm not jealous, if that's what you're thinking. I know what a flirt Persi can be, and I know something about you--and about Peregrin Took--that she doesn't."
Merry grinned. "I didn't think the gossip had gone so far north."
"It hasn't, really," said Ulfidius. "I only overheard Mother attempting to explain to Aunt Aspid why your friend mightn't be a suitable match for Diamond after all. I expect I understood what she meant better than poor Auntie did, since Auntie's still hoping to make the match. Or perhaps she doesn't care about your friend's suitability as a husband, as long as he'll be Thain one day. That's all that was considered important in my case."
"What about your cousin, Hilbarus?" asked Merry. "Don't you mind about him either?"
"No, I don't mind Hil. I understands his feelings for her. I only wish he didn't make it so obvious. As long as the two of them conduct themselves discreetly, and when Persi has a baby, it looks enough like me that we can say it's mine, I won't ask any awkward questions. It's not as if Persi and I care a fig for each other. We're very frank about it: Father's nearly skint and I needed to bring some money into the family, and Persi wants to be a Thain's Lady. That's our arrangement."
"But you object to her flirting," Merry said. "I saw how you glared at us earlier."
Ulfidius's expression darkened. "I dislike her making such a show of herself in front of everybody. I don't care what she does, but I don't want a scandal. We've had enough of that with Grandfather and his new wife. I don't want there to be talk about mine."
When Merry went out a few minutes later, he found Pippin had lingered in the hallway to wait for him. "Here you are, getting mixed up with married ladies and jealous husbands!" Pippin said with a grin. "Who would've thought Merry Brandybuck would ever get himself caught in the middle of that kind of scandal?"
"Leave off, Pippin," Merry replied shortly. "It isn't funny. Where's Frodo?"
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