Oh Sam. Do you really think I don't notice the way you look at me? The way you always seem to seek my company.
It is hard for me to reject you, not to give in to my deepest feelings. My heart hurts every time you lay eyes on me. How I wish... but I cannot. You may not understand it, but I have to leave the Fellowship. The Ring has too much power already, I have to keep it from growing stronger. I have to find the long way to Mount Doom alone. It is my destiny.
It is hard to leave you behind, my dear Sam. I won't tell you right now, for I know that you won't let me go. I don't want to hurt you by giving in to our feelings and then leave you the day after.
Maybe you'll understand my decision one day. Maybe you'll get over it. I hope you'll be able to return to the Shire and go on with your life, after this is all over. I doubt that I'll make it back to the Shire – and for that case I have left you Bag End.
I have seen Rosie Cotton laying eyes on you, and I know that you like her. I know that you will be able to love her and have your own family.
Sam, I love you. More than you may think. I touch your face while you are sleeping and see a smile grow on your face. I bend down to touch your lips and kiss your eyes. Carefully, so as not to wake you. And in moments like these I know why I'm doing all this.
No matter what will come, how hard the journey will be, I will always remember your bright eyes and your wide smile. This is what keeps me going, what gives me strength.
Sam, I can not take you with me, but you will always be in my heart.
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Thoughts in the Night by Franzi
Story notes: Thanks: to Aaboe and Cedara for the beta, and to Bill the Pony, my sis, Sandra, Chance and several other people for giving it a quick read-over. It's appreciated! :)
