"I do hope that I am alone right now. Nobody should be following me away from the battle scene; our men are just getting the defences up for the attack. Everyone is needed now, I know that, but I need a minute to come to my senses, to arrange my swirling thoughts, so that I can focus on surviving this hell.
I have a confession to make. A confession of love.
The world is forevermore changed and nothing will ever be again as we remember it. Open war is a-hunt, men and elves fight joined in battle once more, and they will gain everything or they will fall into darkness. Helm's Deep will not hold. An army is set against us, thousands of ill-bred beasts battling against our small group of brave warriors, which is decreasing from minute to minute. We all seem to be doomed to die and yet we must hold on and fight until the very end.
Times like these bring realization and call for choices. Military choices and strategically choices, choices that affect the lives of thousands, of course, and are expected of me, Aragorn, the heir of Isildur, who was born to be a leader.
But times like these also bring a different kind of realization that affects other choices. This realization goes deeper, is unbearable, frightening and completely misplaced in a situation like this and does affect no one but me right now. ...And you.
In fear of death the human heart is often moved to spill its deepest secrets. Secrets of love.
I, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, am deeply, unalterable and madly in love and I cannot leave this world without fully committing to it. I am not scared to die. I am a man of the sword and thus have faced death a hundred times. I was prepared for it before, but things are different now and in order to ever reach salvation and fulfil my task, I need to tell you.
I have never known such deep feelings, which stir inside my chest every time I look upon you. One brief flash out of your fierce and ancient, deep-blue eyes and I will forget about my heritage, my task and the fate that seems to be awaiting us all. Every time our eyes lock, even for the smallest instant of time, the world around us seems to fade, it outlines blur and loose their importance, and everything is reduced to just you and me, the king and his elf.
It is important for you, to understand this, Legolas, because I do not think anyone else could. I cannot recall how long it has been now, since I first realized what you mean to me. Knowledge of my feelings did not strike me in a flash, they arose slowly and got more intense the more time I spend around you.
By now your presence has become almost unbearable. Every time your slender figure passes me, or you value our friendship with a comforting touch, may it be ever so slight, I suffer a torture, none other can compare to. It is bittersweet, gentle and cruel, heaven and hell, all at the same time.
Oh, how I detest and treasure every moment of it.
You know, the fear for you I must stand in battle, makes me reckless against my enemies. The thought of loosing you encourages fantasies of just seizing you, shoving you down to the ground and kiss you as if there was no tomorrow. There most certainly will not be.
I want to kiss you so hard that you will moan beneath me, parting your lips for me, so that I can discover the depth that hide behind your beautiful smile and I can taste you. This elvish elixir must be bliss. I desperately want to make love to you, until you swear you love me as well and I am assured that world is just as right as it seems to be in your presence ...And then I want to do it all again.
I am not only a King, but also a man after all, longing for the comfort of physical touch, greedy to make love to you.
I dream about you and me together, knowing at the same time that it never could be, but not able to help it. You are a heavenly creature, not made for subtle things as cruelty, death, or, all the same, physical joys like the love of flesh. You are beautiful and wise, but having seen so many centuries come and go, has also taken away your sense of urgency for present action. Do you even understand longing?
You could not possibly want me, but even if you did, you would not be allowed by your heritage to yield to it. At the same time, I would not be allowed either...
And I do not care about it.
I know somebody will come to look for me very soon. Plans must be made, strategies worked out and I have to instruct my people. They depend on me. But I need a little while longer.
Legolas, if you could just find me. I want to hold you in my arms, together we could conquer everything at the end of all things...
Focus, Aragorn, focus.
This will not get me anywhere.
I love him, yes, but the best I can do to save this love, is to fight for it. Fight now, against the evil that threatens to throw us all down. I will never tell about my feelings, I cannot, but they will remain in my heart after all. I can be happy as long as he lives. If he does not do that on my side it does not matter, does it? This is all I got. Not as much as I wish for, but enough to make me go on. Love always conjures hope, and together they conquer all.
Legolas, vanimelda namarie..."
"Legolas, vanimelda namarie..." the heir of the ancient kings, silently muttered, slowly turning back to battle. "Legolas, I will always love you..." He did not notice the incredibly deep-blue eyes fixed on his back as he left, filled with worry, confusion and ... surprised hope.
TBC
Site Info
We are the home of 1292 authors from among our 2552 members. There have been 2904 reviews written about our 3820 stories consisting of 10734 chapters and 29400445 words. A special welcome to our newest member, Rosamundeb.Categories
Skin Change
Donate
Help us keep one of the oldest running LotR archives available to all. Even the smallest donation helps!
Many thanks to our previous donors!
Many thanks to our previous donors!
The Library, elsewhere
Other projects
Confession by Ruilett
Story notes: Movie-based. Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is my first story ever written about LOTR, so I will be happy about any response. Be honest, I am trying to get better, but please don't be too harsh on my language since I am not a native speaker.
