"It's the beards!"
I heard Aragorn whisper behind me. I flushed with anger. It was more than their appearance that made Dwarf women different from women of other races. Our women were also warriors that were respected as equally as male warriors among our people. I had been about to tell this to Eowyn, my companion at the moment, when I realized that she was too distracted with staring at Aragorn. Silly git. I shook my head in disgust. Long had I wanted to see the women of Rohan. I had not met one until Theoden's hall, but I had heard tales of them. Both fair and powerful, the stories had said. Afraid of nothing, as strong as the men, and as ruthless as the most seasoned and weathered warriors.
Now that I had met a Rohan woman, I was not impressed. A real warrior was always on his – or her – guard, even in the company of friends. At the moment though, she was so smitten with Aragorn I could have cleaved her head from her shoulders, even from the precarious position astride a horse, with out her even trying to defend herself. This image made me chuckle. Suddenly, I felt my steed jerk beneath me, and then bolt forward. I found myself on my back before I knew what was happening.
"It was deliberate!" I called out, trying to save some scraps of my pride. It was unsuccessful. Eowyn was over me in a moment, helping me. Well, at least that had been her intention. Again her gaze returned to Aragorn. Muttering to myself, I sat up. Maybe relieving her of her useless head would have been best after all. I suppose I can't blame her though. I had been in love. Once. I still was, actually. I felt my stomach flutter at the memories that flashed through my mind. She indeed had been a woman to admire.
When we had first arrived in Lothlorien, I had been suspicious and ill at ease. Elves were not to be trusted, I knew this well enough. Even after many days of travel together, the elf I knew best, Legolas, still did not have my complete trust. 'Elves are too beautiful for their own good' had been my thoughts then. Now, I think that possibly we just aren't beautiful enough. When we had first met the Lady Galadriel, I had not thought much of her. Beautiful. Yes, she certainly was that. I smiled to myself at the memory of her startlingly blue eyes and the waves of her golden hair. Arrogant though. I remember thinking that clearly enough. She had begun to speak after her husband, Celeborn, had finished. My companions seemed to be having a variety of reactions to her words, though I could not see why. Were they not hearing the same thing as me? I began to question this as I saw Sam turn away and blush, Boromir dropping his head in sadness, and Aragorn lifting his head in what looked like a small victory.
"Gimli."
Suddenly, a voice filled my head. It sounded like the voice of the universe. Both horrible and melodic, a deafening roar and a faint whisper all at once. I understood the reactions of my companions now.
"Gimli," it spoke again, "the name of a great warrior. Strong and powerful. You have been a great asset to the fellowship, and you will continue to be one. But, I do know your secret." I felt my knees nearly buckle, and my face pale. I no longer wanted to hear more. I wanted to leave, to run, and never think of this elf witch again. I was defenseless, though, against the onslaught of the voice. "Long have you kept this secret from your companions. Will you continue to do so, Gimli, daughter of Gloin?"
I wandered through the woods later that night, weeping silently to myself. I was going to be exposed. Then I would be left behind. Or worse, I would continue with them, but no longer be treated as equal. No longer be considered a warrior. Lost in my own grief, I didn't hear the approaching footsteps behind me until they were very close. This was the second time my 'ears of a fox' had let me down today. 'Must be the elf.' I thought, discreetly wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. I spun around, planning to berate him for sneaking up on me, something he seemed to find very entertaining.
"Legolas! How many times – oh - My Lady, I apologize, I simply thought that-"
"Relax, Gimli, I take no offence. I merely wanted to speak to you about my earlier question." My eyes dropped, and I felt the tears return.
"I would like them to remain ignorant of my identity, at least for the time." I could feel her eyes studying me, even as I looked at the ground.
"And why is this?" She asked me, gently. Slowly I met her eyes and held her gaze.
"Well My Lady, I want to do my part in the fellowship, but I cannot do it as a woman, even if I am the same person. I do not expect you to understand, though." I muttered this last comment before I realized how it would come out. Her expression became unreadable, either anger or disgust, possibly even resentment. I quickly tried to explain myself. " I meant no disrespect, I only mean that you are a great elf queen, but you are actually accepted as a queen. I must remain in my male role to keep any of the respect that I may have earned."
Her face dropped, and she turned her head away, with a look of pain on her face. "How much you know, Gimli, yet, how little." She turned back to me. "I am considered great, yes, but only in my own woods, behind the protection of my people. I am hardly allowed to leave my boarders. I know only about the events in the outside world through what I see in my mirror, and the messengers and scouts. I am more an object to guard in my peoples eyes, than an actual elf." Understanding her finally, I saw were shared the same future, to be forced to be something we are not. I must pretend to be a male, and she must continue to play the part of a powerful queen when all she wanted was to be a free elf. She knelt down in front of me, and took my hand in hers." I'm glad you understand." She spoke quietly to me.
"I'm glad you understand also, My Lady." I replied, in my own voice. It was a voice I had not heard in many months. For the time it was no longer forced to be deep and gruff, and it felt foreign and strange on my tongue. She smiled at me and leaned forward. Slowly, she touched to her lips to my own. Moving away, she stood up and disappeared among the trees. A part of me that I hadn't known existed felt strangely complete. Maybe elves aren't that bad after all, I thought.
"Wargs! We're under attack!"
The call brought me out of my memories, and snapped me to my senses. Grabbing my axe, I prepared for battle. In the corner of my vision I saw something that surprised me. Eowyn had drawn her sword, and had a fierce gleam in her eye, prepared to fight. I watched as the gleam turn to anger when she was forced to stay behind with her people. I realized I understood her better now. 'Well maybe she can keep her silly head after all,' I thought to myself. 'But right now Gimli daughter of Gloin has more then this to think about.' With a final growl and a firmer grip on my axe, I was ready for battle.
End
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