Mirkwood
"Father, we are in love. For what reason may we not wed?" Legolas looked at King Thranduil with tears in his eyes. Thranduil had not objected to Boromir living with him at the castle for the last year. Why would he reject the idea of marriage?
"Never in Middle-Earth have two males wed. My son will not be the first!" He continued glaring at Legolas. "You will marry Lady Arwen of Rivendell, and that is final! If you do not, I will see to it that Elrond exacts the worst punishment on both you and Boromir!" He spat the name as though it were distasteful. "Not only is Arwen female, she is also an Elf. Why marry a mortal son of a Steward when you can have an immortal princess? You are leaving to Rivendell tomorrow, Legolas. You have no choice in the matter."
Rivendell
Aragorn sighed happily in his sleep. He had longed for Arwen's attentions since the first day he'd met her, and finally, today, she had come to him. It was more wonderful than he'd imagined. He was glad he had decided to take a vacation from being King to visit his foster family. Drifting awake, he rolled closer to where Arwen had been, but she was no longer there.
He awoke with a start. The space on the bed beside him was cold and empty. He heard approaching footsteps and eagerly sat up. When he realized it was Elrond who entered the room, Aragorn quickly covered himself with the blanket.
"You have received a letter, my son." Elrond smiled as Aragorn tore open the seal and read the note inside.
"It is from my friend Legolas. He wants my help." Aragorn dressed quickly, stuffing some items in his pack before kissing Elrond on the cheek. "I will return as quickly as I can, father. Tell the twins I shall be careful." He whistled for Brego, and the big bay horse soon appeared. "Farewell!" he called, not noticing that Arwen followed on her mare.
Faerieland
Puck flew swiftly to Oberon once he received the summons.
"How may I serve you, my lord?" he asked, cheekily.
Oberon was too distressed to scold Puck as he usually did. "Puck, I need you to retrieve a flower for me."
"A flower, my lord? Why, it would be my pleasure." Puck was amazed that he was getting away with it. Oberon was normally giving him the evil eye by this time.
"Not just any flower, Puck. One struck by Cupid's bow. Its nectar, applied to the lid of a sleeping eye, causes one to fall in love with whomever they first see upon awakening."
Puck knew better than to question the king's request. The faerie sought and found the flower in good time, collecting the nectar in a bag. He returned to Oberon once he had completed his task to find the king looking in his mirror.
"There is trouble afoot, Robin Goodfellow. The love of one interferes with the true love of two others. Go, find the dark-haired beauty who follows the fair Elf, and use the nectar that the interfering love is redirected toward the Man."
As soon as Puck had left for his new task, Oberon approached his sleeping wife. "You will not forget your love for me," he said, dripping the flower's juice on Titania's closed eyes. He sat by her side, ready to be the first thing she saw when she finally awoke.
Mirkwood
Aragorn waited by the lake, as the letter from Legolas had instructed. He though of Arwen during those few moments of peace, letting Brego graze by the bank. The moon provided ample light for him to see Legolas' approach before he heard it.
"Mellon nin." They met in the embrace of friends too long parted. "What is the trouble?"
Legolas paced round the clearing, which surprised Aragorn. Legolas did not pace; he was usually very calm. Seeing that the Elf might not be ready to talk, Aragorn decided to start a conversation.
"How is Boromir? I have not seen him since last I visited Mirkwood."
"That is just the problem. Boromir and I have fallen in love, and father will not allow us to marry. He says it is not done." Aragorn raised an eyebrow. The last he had heard, Legolas was in love with Haldir. But that was apparently no longer the case; and suddenly Aragorn knew just the help his friend wished.
"Come to Gondor with me. Faramir has performed such ceremonies before."
Legolas smiled slightly. "Boromir will be glad to see his brother again. I shall be glad to see Faramir as well."
"Then it is decided. Let us make haste to Gondor." They were both shocked when Arwen ran into to the clearing.
"Arwen! How lovely to see r11;" Legolas was cut off when Arwen wrapped her arms around him and kissed him soundly. He pulled away. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm kissing my fiancé!" She tried to kiss him again, but Legolas took hold of her hands.
"Arwen, I am not going to marry you. I love Boromir. We r11;"
"Don't be ridiculous, Legolas. You cannot marry a Man. I love you."
Aragorn just stood there with his mouth open. Why was Arwen acting like a fool for Legolas? He put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her round. "Arwen! I thought you loved me!"
"Aragorn." Arwen's voice was light and dismissive. "Do you really think I would be interested in you? You are naught but a weak Man. Legolas is stronger, older, more beautiful..."
The Man gazed with wounded eyes at his beloved Lady. "Did this morning mean nothing to you? Did you deceive me?"
"Do not take it personally, Aragorn. I must satisfy myself somehow until Legolas realizes we are meant to be together."
Aragorn and Legolas exchanged a glance. Where to begin? "Arwen, had I loved you before, I would love you no longer after you betrayed Aragorn the way you have. He is my good friend and I will not tolerate anyone who only wishes to use him so."
As the three enamored beings argued amongst themselves, Puck looked on with amusement. He pitied the one who was left with Arwen. His eyes lit up when he saw Boromir enter the clearing. "This must be the dark-haired beauty Oberon speaks of," he thought happily (for Oberon, when using the vague descriptions earlier that day, had not considered the fact that Robin Goodfellow was queer, and abhorred females). The faerie thought (wrongly of course) that the love potion would set everything right, putting Man with Man and Elf with Elf. With this giddy thought in his head, Puck followed the foursome, eagerly awaiting the time when they would surrender to sleep.
Lorien
Puck was starting to think that he would fall asleep before accomplishing his task. The Men were dragging their feet a bit, but both Elves looked like they could go on for days. They had been walking for several hours when Boromir put his arm across Legolas' shoulders, and the Elf supported him with an arm around the Man's waist. Aragorn attempted to gain similar contact with Arwen, but she avoided his touch, preferring instead to walk alongside Legolas.
The sun was starting to sink into the horizon when the group approached the gates of Lothlorien. They were greeted with great hospitality, and learned that Haldir was away at a council. Four adjacent rooms were provided.
Dinner was served with an impressive fanfare as usual. Legolas, who had spent most of the day trying to keep Arwen away, had lost his appetite but none of his enthusiasm. He would go through with this, even if it meant having to put up with her. Legolas had no idea what Aragorn saw in her, and felt a bit sorry for his friend. For Puck, the meal seemed to drag on forever, and he attempted to amuse himself for a few hours.
Faerieland
Oberon had fallen asleep beside Titania on their leafy bed in the tall trees. It was his precarious position near the edge of the leaf that caused him to fall after rolling over during his slumber. His fall did not wake him, and Oberon landed in some comfortable moss.
A loud noise awakened Titania. Her eyes fell upon a pool of rainwater that had gathered in her leaf, and she immediately fell in love with her reflection. Not that one could blame her, for Titania was a beautiful queen, but Oberon would not be pleased when he discovered the mistake.
Lorien
Arwen listened carefully until both Men were asleep. She sneaked her way to Legolas' room, but it was empty. Her thoughts turned angry as she approached Boromir's room. Sure enough, her love was in his bed, his arms wrapped around the naked Man.
Legolas heard her exasperated huff and sent a look of irritation her way. Reluctant to leave Boromir, but not willing to have the argument here, Legolas grabbed her arm and pulled her away to where the Men could not hear them.
Puck appeared gleefully at Boromir's side. "What have we here?" he muttered happily, and applied the nectar to the Steward's eyelids. The faerie then posted himself at the door of the room, determined to block the entrance of any besides Aragorn.
He had not long to wait once he filled the Man's dreams with images of Arwen. As predicted, Aragorn awoke and sought his Lady in each room, finding Boromir instead.
"Boromir," he whispered. "Have you seen Arwen?"
Boromir woke up and looked at Aragorn in awe. "By the gods, Strider, you're beautiful. Never have I seen beauty such as yours. Why have I not noticed it before?"
"What?" Aragorn was flabbergasted at Boromir's words and tried to escape, but an unfortunate breeze slammed the door shut.
"Aragorn." Boromir repeated his name, advancing on him, grinning like a teenager in love."
"Boromir, stop! Legolas r11;" But he was not allowed to complete his thought, for Boromir attacked his mouth as Arwen had attacked Legolas' earlier. Aragorn managed to get away from Boromir several times, before resorting to the window for escape.
"Legolas! Boromir has gone mad!" he called, and was soon met by his friend. Boromir, undaunted, followed him out the window, still naked, and chased after Aragorn even after he hid behind the Elf.
Puck hid himself in the trees. Delightful! Even more amusing than he could have hoped! Aragorn, the proud king, was cowering behind the Elf for protection, while Legolas demanded to know what had gotten into Boromir. Jealousy was apparent in his voice, and this enraged Arwen, who watched from the side, rooting Boromir on so she could have Legolas to herself. Legolas was silent r11; Puck started to get worried. The Prince looked around, seeking something...
"Puck!"
The faerie froze. How did Legolas know it was him?
"Come out, Robin, I know you're there. You think I don't remember how you tried to make me fall in love with Haldir?"
Puck winced. Usually he was not so careless. Or was it just that Legolas was very perceptive? That must be it. Robin Goodfellow never made a mistake.
"Puck!" Oberon sounded furious. Trapped, Puck tried to imagine why Oberon would be angry with him.
"Yes, my lord?" For once he was not flippant. Oberon stared him down until he lowered his wings in defeat.
"Goodfellow, you have caused me much grief." The faerie king was trying not to yell. "My wife has fallen in love with her reflection, and you put the potion on the Man r11; you were supposed to make the Elfess fall in love with Aragorn!"
"But you said dark-haired beauty..." Puck trailed off, realizing his mistake. "Look, Oberon, it's a simple misunderstanding. It can be fixed!"
"Then fix it," the king growled, and disappeared from sight.
Faerieland
Oberon watched Titania with undisguised disgust. After several attempts to keep her away from sources of reflection, Titania had settled on a lily pad in the middle of a lake. She used her magic to keep him away while gazing at her image in the water. With every passing moment, Puck's fate became more and more questionable.
Gondor
Reluctant to return to Faerieland, Puck followed the foursome on their journey to Gondor. He spent the whole time laughing at them. It was quite a predicament, actually. Aragorn wanted Arwen who wanted Legolas who wanted Boromir who wanted Aragorn. In time, he knew, it could be fixed, but where was the fun in that?
Aragorn had first tried to find comfort in Arwen, but she was not receptive. Not wanting to encourage Boromir he stayed close to Legolas, and they discussed the dual problem of loving without being loved in return and being loved by one they didn't want. Arwen constantly followed Legolas and Boromir had become Aragorn's shadow.
Faramir was confronted with this confusing sight. He attempted to embrace his brother, but Boromir would not let go of Aragorn's tunic. Strange, considering he was supposed to marry Boromir to Legolas, who was staring sadly at the Man. Aragorn raised his hand in greeting to the Steward, at the same time trying to free himself from Boromir's grasp, to no avail.
Legolas pulled Faramir aside. "Puck has put a spell on Boromir. He thinks he is in love with Aragorn." Well, that explained a lot.
"What about Arwen? Is she under a spell?" As they spoke, the Elfess was gazing longingly at Legolas.
"Unfortunately, no. I can't fathom why she is so obsessed with me. Aragorn obviously loves her. This entire situation is hopeless."
Puck chose this moment to appear on Faramir's shoulder. "We only hoped to help."
"We?" Legolas was not at all surprised to see the faerie. "You can't mean that Oberon put you up to this."
"Well..." Puck shrugged his wings. "I was supposed to make Arwen fall in love with Aragorn."
"And you thought Boromir was she?"
"It's a long story." Legolas reached out to grab Puck, who scooted away. "Legolas, my friend r11; ok, not friend, whatever r11; I can remedy the situation." He ignored the Elf's glare and handed him the potion. "Put this on Boromir's eyelids just before he awakes, and make sure you are the first one he sees when he opens his eyes! Or I am not responsible for the consequences."
Legolas took it and shook his finger at the faerie. "This better not fail, Puck, or I will be speaking to Oberon. You will be exiled from Middle-Earth!"
"There will always be faeries in Middle-Earth." Puck laughed and made his way to help Aragorn.
Faerieland
With the help of Puck's magic, Oberon had managed to get Titania back. Puck was punished for his folly, made to stay in Faerieland when the king and queen faeries left for Gondor to attend the weddings. He grumbled to himself, cursing Oberon under his breath. All was not lost, however; once they were gone, he summoned Oberon's magical mirror and was able to spy the goings-on at Gondor.
Gondor
It had taken some clever manipulation, but Arwen finally fell asleep. Legolas gratefully exchanged place with Aragorn, who was ready with the potion. The friends smiled at each other before Legolas departed, leaving Aragorn to bolt the door. Legolas similarly locked himself in the room where Boromir snored mercilessly, awaiting dawn with no little impatience.
But dawn did come, and with it came the righting of wronged loves. Arwen looked upon Aragorn and saw for the first time his strength and worth despite his mortality, and her love for him was as true. Boromir fell back into love with Legolas, and the love was stronger than any potion could cause because it was real.
Faramir was delighted that his guests were happy once more, and quickly agreed to marry Arwen and Aragorn in the same ceremony. Oberon and Titania were invited to join the wedding party, as both were old friends of the Elves. Most of the citizens of Gondor turned out for the double wedding, pleased to see their king finally take a queen, and for the first Steward to take a husband.
Aragorn once again took his throne, his Elven wife on one side and his friend the Steward of Gondor on the other side. Boromir shared the title of Steward with his brother, and Legolas became an indispensable strategic advisor. Mirkwood and Rivendell remained only as memories after Legolas and Arwen sacrificed their immortality to be with the Men they loved.
The next fifty years were the best in Gondor's history. Ruled by their King, two Stewards, and two beautiful Elves, prosperity belonged to the kingdom of Men, and all was as it should be.
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
Robin "Puck" Goodfellow
A Midsummer Night's Dream, 5:1
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A Middle-Earth Night's Dream by Skaterboy
Story notes: Warning: blatant rip-off of Shakespeare's play.
Authors Note: I don't usually resort to stealing. I couldn't resist! I hope Will understands...
Feedback: Yes! This is my first attempt at a humor fic. How did I do? Do you want any more parodies? I am at the whim of my wonderful audience!
